|Date||Match type||Opposition||Venue||PB Time||Score|
|22/09/2018||League||St Neots 1||A||13:00||W 1-2|
|29/09/2018||League||Cambridge University Blues||H (P1)||10:30||L 1-5|
|06/10/2018||League||Ipswich 2||A||14:00||W 1-2|
|10/10/2018||BUCS League||Oxford University Mavericks||H||16:00||W 5-0|
|13/10/2018||League||Bedford 2||H (P3)||13:30||L 1-4|
|17/10/2018||BUCS League||University of Lincoln 1||A||18:00||W 0-6|
|20/10/2018||League||Lowestoft Ladies 1||A||13:30||L 3-0|
|27/10/2018||League||Sudbury 1||H (P3)||11:30||L 1-3|
|31/10/2018||BUCS League||Loughborough University 4||H||16:00||D 1-1|
|03/11/2018||League||Ipswich – East Suffolk||A||12:30||L 5-3|
|07/11/2018||BUCS Cup||University of Birmingham 5||A||14:30||W 0-4|
|10/11/2018||League||Cambridge City 3||A (P1)||12:00||L 4-1|
|14/11/2018||BUCS League||Nottingham Trent University 2||H||17:00||L 0-4|
|17/11/2018||League||Norwich Dragons 1||H (P3)||13:30||W 1-0|
|21/11/2018||BUCS Cup||University of Derby 1||A||15:00||W 0-3|
|24/11/2018||League||Dereham 1||A||13:30||L 4-0|
|28/11/2018||BUCS League||University of Nottingham 4||A||14:30||W 0-2|
|01/12/2018||League||Wisbech Town 1||H (P3)||13:30||W 4-0|
|08/12/2018||League||St Neots 1||H (P2)||11:30||L 0-3|
|12/01/2019||League||Cambridge University Blues||A||12:00 (P1)||L 2-0|
|19/01/2019||League||Ipswich 2||H||13:30 (P3)||L 1-2|
|23/01/2019||BUCS League||Oxford University Mavericks||A||14:50||P-P|
|26/01/2019||League||Bedford 2||A||13:00||L 3-0|
|30/01/2019||BUCS League||University of Lincoln 1||H||16:00||P-P|
|02/02/2019||League||Lowestoft Ladies 1||H||TBC||P-P|
|06/02/2019||BUCS League||Loughborough University 4||A||14:30||L 1-0|
|16/02/2019||League||Ipswich – East Suffolk 1||H||TBC||-|
|20/02/2019||BUCS League||Nottingham Trent University 2||A||16:30||-|
|02/03/2019||League||Cambridge City 3||H||TBC||-|
|06/03/2019||BUCS League||University of Lincoln 1||H||TBC||-|
|09/03/2019||League||Norwich Dragons 1||A||12:45||-|
|13/03/2019||BUCS League||University of Nottingham 4||H||16:00||-|
|23/03/2019||League||Wisbech Town 1||A||14:30||-|
2018/19 Match Reports
Wisbech arrived at the Wilberfortress unbeaten in 2 games (quite good for them). We arrived unbeaten in 1 game (quite good for us). Head Coach Jerv and assistant coach Duckers didn’t turn up (shock). Thankfully for us, we were not playing at the beach (McNab, Shears & Murphy, 2018). Wisbech have, shockingly, only picked up 4 points away all season. We were therefore in good spirits. I personally was very excited for the game (but slightly more excited to go skiing straight after). We then started playing hockey – we scored 4 goals (credz to Soph^2 and Lizzie for their goals. One of the Soph’s scored 2 and got Mom). Fortunately, we also have a really good keeper (and I’m not talking about Duckers or Jerv) and so we let no goals in. I missed teas as I had to go to Heathrow and get on a flight to France because as a fresher you have to go on varsity trip apparently. Jerv and Duckers didn’t show up and we won. This often happens. Duckers actually hasn’t turned up to a win yet (shock again).
Thank you so much to Jerv and Duckers for their incredible work this term. They are genuinely the best coaches I have ever had and we are all eternally grateful to them. They work tirelessly and have so much knowledge about hockey. They have really transformed me as a player. If I had to sum them up in 1 word: inspirational.
MoM: Soph G
27/10/18 Nomads 1 - 3 Sudbury 1s | MoM Lizzie
Monday was a very exciting day as Jerv and I began our first week on the Obstetric Ward in Addenbrooke’s. This week we were tasked with seeing a real life baby being born. You may think this a relatively easy thing to do but babies do not like scheduling their arrival around the poor medical student’s timetable. Jerv was very excited about the babies to the point were it was getting a little bit weird but I didn’t want to say anything because he might have made me do more running in training. Wednesday was Wandies cocktails, an event that I had a good a chance of remembering this year seeing that ex-Wanderer mixologist Kirky is no longer around. Soph W set the precedent early on with a rather precocious “4 frogs” and the evening went rapidly downhill from there. Integrating with the fresh proved challenging as my chat is 5 years old so I decided to sit with the nomads coaches and Ferg and found my chat was more acceptable to them. I set off early for Cindoirs as Catton and I hadn’t purchased tickets so I made him do a light jog there while I rode my bike. Cindies queue was packed but with many years of cindies wisdom under our belts Jerv and I pushed in and were soon boogieing. Hockenhull then decided she had had enough and together we left Cindies with Jallen. Acting as Jallen’s personal detail we escorted him to Gardies, where we managed to put our bodyguarding skills to the test by fending off an angry man who wanted to punch him for no discernible reason.
Obviously Thursday being a complete wipeout Jerv and I only had one day to see a baby being born. It had been a frustrating week with many missed opportunities but eventually on Saturday morning we both got our wish and by 3am all the babies had been born. Unfortunately that didn’t leave that much time for sleeping and may have explained my late arrival at the fixture against Sudbury the next morning. It was a frustrating game and after equalizing early in the first half Sudbury managed to bang in another to make it 2-1 at half time. I cant really remember what happened in the second half but they scored again and it was all very depressing. Jerv was also angry at us as we didn’t do his special short that we had been working on in training, but I reminded him about babies and he seemed to calm down after that.
Mom: Lizzie Jack
22/09/18 Nomads 2-1 St Neots 1s | MoM Mog
The Nomads kicked off their matches, having been promoted at the end of last season, with a win. They say you should start as you mean to go on. 2-1 was the final score, with what some may say was a fluke goal from Jess Czink, and a goal from Izzy Austin. Unfortunately, through no fault of our own we conceded a goal which the umpire himself put in the back of the net (in true Nomads style obviously no-one complained …). We had pace, quick transfers and sneaky skills. MoM this week went to our keeper Mog. What a start girls, lets keep it up.
DoD: Soph W (for forgetting her duvet)
06/10/18 Nomads 2-1 Ipswich 2s | MoM Sarah W
On Saturday, the Nomads travelled an hour and a half down the A14 to play Ipswich. Despite the horrendous weather and slow sandy pitch, we were positive pre-match that we could get a result. We started strongly and the first goal came from a quickly taken free hit in defence with the ball spread wide to Anna who took on her player and crossed the ball in towards Sarah Wooding who fired it passed the keeper. We kept our energy high for the rest of the 1st half, creating a few more chances, and went in at half time 1-0 up.
The 2nd half was a bit scrappier, with Ipswich scoring an early short corner with a deflection on the right post. This motivated them and they began to press harder, putting our defence under more pressure. We did have our chances, with lots of good balls to the back post by Sass, one of which Sophie celebrated as she thought it had gone in. However, they began to get more and more frustrated with the umpires and the Nomads capitalised on this, with Sarah scoring her 2nd goal of the game. A mix up in substitutions then caused us to have 12 players on the pitch as
the game was about to restart, resulting in a yellow card for Captain Rachel. Fortunately, we managed to see out the last few minutes with 10 players to grind out a hard-fought win.
Mom – Sarah W
Dod – Georgie M (for getting Rach yellow carded)
2017/18 Match reports
Sat third in the table, the Nomads wanted a win to help their campaign for promotion, especially having been beaten 2-0 earlier on in the season. The true Nomad spirit shone out with the match ending in a 6-0 victory. The first half was a tuff battle, both sides fighting for the ball and emotions running high. The nomads managed to convert some great goals, making it 3-0 at half time. That wasn’t all that happened in the first half, with both teams really getting into the game we had a green card and Rachel got a ball to the face, taking her out the game with blood running down her face and leaving the Nomads with only two subs. After a good team talk and some sweets to keep up the energy we took to the second half by storm, both teams had calmed down a bit and the nomads were playing some quality hockey which showed in the score line of 6-0 by the end of the game. Leading goal scorer of the match was Captain Beth with a hat trick who got a deserved MoM. Then two goals to Sophie G and one for Georgie Jones.
28/01/18 Nomads 0-1 CoP 2s| MoM Vivi
After a long week having already had two away fixtures the Nomads packed up and headed to Peterborough City Astro – well that is, some of us did… 30 minutes after arriving Jess, Georgie, Georgia and Bish were concerned that they were the only ones in the changing rooms, the location of the rest of the team on snapmaps and the fact no one was answering their phones was worrying. A few shared locations later it transpired that the rest of the team had broken into a school on the other side of Peterborough and were relatively unconcerned about the lack of 4 members of the team or the presence of any opposition. To quote Sophie G ‘yikes’. Once the whole team were reunited the match started quickly. Peterborough were a quick and fit team, but excellent mid-fielding leading and transfers meant that Peterborough were constantly under pressure in the first half. Half time came with the score stuck at 0-0, a testament to the quality of the Peterborough keeper. The second half started and constant pressure meant we were rewarded with several short corners, unfortunately every shot on goal found its way to the keepers pads. Frustration and tired legs meant Peterborough scored a lucky goal on a breakaway, some excellent saves from Mog kept them to one goal. By this point the efforts throughout the week caught up and the defensive play by Peterborough meant the match finished 1-0. A frustrating loss to a team we beat last season but the Nomads will be looking to bounce back against Oxf*rd on Wednesday. Vivi was a well deserved MOM, I cant shed any light on why I was voted DOD as I cannot remember any of Wednesday’s antics – to second Nic ‘Kirky what did you put in those cocktails?!’.
27/01/18 Nomads 11-0 Wisbech 2s| MoM Sass
The Nomads ventured north this week in the first of a double header to play Wisbech 2s. The build up to the match was somewhat blighted by Jonny’s incorrect reporting of last week’s 9-0 win in the weekend preview. Any rumours that we were 8th in the league were firmly put to bed by a sassy email from Nic. The journey to Wisbech was eventful in itself. With their sat navs betraying them, both Elizabethany and Jess had the misfortune to drive through a river. Never has a foot of water been so terrifying. Visions of us being swept away across the fens flashed before our eyes. Emergency plans were made to escape through the sun roof. However we all emerged alive, not drowned and managed to get the Snapchat stories as evidence of our death defying encounter. Wisbech 2s put up an admirable fight but unfortunately they could not stop the Nomads this week. Our training this week on forward leads and support play was put into practice and we emerged with an emphatic victory 11-0. Vivi even scored her inaugural goal for CUHC. I am now tasked with sweets, a MoM bake and this match report because apparently as a 4th year it’s unacceptable to not remember the majority of Wednesday night. I didn’t even lose anything.
MoM: Sass DoD: Sass
20/01/18 Nomads 9-0 St Ives 2s| MoM Izzy Austin
After marginally winning this tightly contested match 3-1 at the beginning of Michaelmas, the Nomads needed to prove how much progress they had made. With targets set, they were ready to go, and classic Nomads style we don’t like to disappoint. We more than achieved above and beyond expectation. With our biggest win of the season, we were 3-0 up at half time, and proceeded to double our tally in the second half, finishing the match a whopping 9 goals to the Nomads and 0 to the opposition. MOM deservedly went to Izzy Austin, scored the best goal of the day as she weaved through countless defence to put the ball into the top corner. However, the top goal scorer of the day was Soph Glanfield, achieving her first ever CUHC hatrick. Other goal scorers include the frequently occurring Georgie Jones, captain Beth Barker and Sophie Wilson. We couldn’t be more happy with our performance today (one member even voted the whole team to be MOM!!!). The Nomads demonstrated everything they had practiced in training, with midfield marking and wide forward leading. Overall at 10/10 performance for a 12/10 team.
MoM: Izzy Austin
13/01/18 Nomads 3-1 Spalding 1s | MoM ?
Nomads return with a bang; what we do best. Spalding 1s provided chat (mate, mate), but this was not enough to put the Nomads off – securing a 3-1 win.
The first goal was a cheeky tap in by Sass after a fight for the ball in the D, and the second by Sophie G; a firm slap from the top, another score to add to the list of a successful week for SG.
Spalding come back in the second half with force, breaking through the defence, and the Nomads concede. However, soon after, a short corner which originally went (very) wrong ended up with the ball slapped into the back of the goal by Georgie J.
All in all, it was a great start back with everyone determined, Nic getting her arse in the way and Jess panini’ing & driving.
18/11/17 Nomads 4-0 Aldford and District 1s | MoM Juliette
After spirits were knocked back post Wednesday BUCS (& Cindies), the Nomads returned fighting against Alford & District 1s, resulting in a 4-0 win. The first half saw some great transfer skills along the back line, creating space allowing for the midfield and forwards to drive up the pitch.
At half time it was 1-0 from a short corner hit by Georgie J.
A quick team talk and haribo ensured that the Nomads dominated the second half. A&D returned even more hot pink and aggressive, with a green card being given for some outrageous chat and play, but this wasn’t enough to stop Beth from cheekily slapping the ball straight past the keeper.
Annie showed off how skilled she is with the D, with two strong deflections, one from a short corner.
A great game to get the girls pumped for the next match against O*ford.
21/10/17 Nomads 8-0 Wisbech 2s | MoM ?
14/10/17 Nomads 3-1 St Ives 2s | MoM Potter
The Nomads continued their undefeated season with a 3-1 conquest against St Ives Ladies 2’s this weekend.
Conditions were muggy, the pitch sandy and the umpire debatable but after a cheeky deflection and short corner taking us 2 nil up in the latter part of the first half, spirits were high. However, all was not set; with a sly breakaway catching us unaware, the ladies of St Ives snatched a goal to leave it 2-1 at half time.
23/09/17 Nomads 2-2 Peterborough 2s | MoM Alicia and Colette
The nomads started the season in good form. Our first goal was a lovely hit by Lydia along the baseline which was tapped in by Colette. We continued to dominate possession and scored another goal from a short corner courtesy of Rachel. Peterborough then scored from a short corner leaving the score 2-1 at half time. We had a lot to talk about at halftime and managed to put plenty of it into action in the second half. Unfortunately tired legs started to show and we conceded another goal but on the upside kept composure to come out with a 2-2 draw. On the whole it was a good game and the nomads are showing a lot of promise for the season ahead.
Mom: Colette and Alicia
Dod: Potter #ripeltonjohn
|Date||Match type||Opposition||Venue||PB Time||Score|
|24/09/16||League||Bury st Edmunds 1||H||1530||L||0-2|
|01/10/16||League||Cam City 2||A||1230||L||1-4|
|12/10/16||Bucs League||Coventry 1||A||1600||L||1-4|
|15/10/16||League||Norwich Dragons 2||A||1345||L||0-2|
|19/10/16||Bucs League||Warwick 2||H||1300||W||7-1|
|29/10/16||League||Harleston Magpies 2||A||1200||L||0-7|
|02/11/16||Bucs League||Lincoln 1||H||TBC||W||5-1|
|05/11/16||League||Lowestoft Ladies 1||A||1130||L||1-4|
|12/11/16||League||St Ives 1||H||1200||W||2-1|
|16/11/16||Bucs League||Derby 1||A||TBC||W||5-0|
|26/11/16||League||City of Peterborough 1||H||1200||D||2-2|
|30/11/16||Bucs League||Nottingham 5||H||TBC||-||-|
|14/01/17||League||Bury St Edmunds 1||A||TBC||-||-|
|21/01/17||League||Cam City 2||H||1200||L||0-7|
|01/02/17||Bucs League||Warwick 2||A||TBC||W||0-9|
|04/02/17||League||Norwich Dragons 2||H||1200||D||0-0|
|08/02/17||Bucs League||Lincoln 1||A||1500||W||3-0|
|18/02/17||League||Bury St Edmunds 1||A||?||D||1-1|
|22/02/17||Bucs League||Derby 1||H||TBC||W||14-0|
|25/02/17||League||Harleston Magpies 2||H||1200||L||0-2|
|01/03/17||Bucs||Oxford Brookes 2||H||?||W||4-1|
|04/03/17||League||Lowestoft Ladies 1||H||1200||W||1-0|
|11/03/17||League||St Ives 1||A||1230||L||0-3|
|15/03/17||Bucs League||Nottingham 5||A||1600||W||8-1|
|25/03/17||League||City of Peterborough 1||A||1430||L||2-5|
2016/17 Match Reports
No match report.
18/03/17 Nomads 2-2 Lindum 1s | MoM ??
No match report.
11/03/16 Nomads 0-3 St. Ives 1s | MoM Boo Tooze
Match Report – Nomads 0 – St Ives 1 (A) 3
Saturday 11th March, 12.30pm PB at One Leisure St Ives Outdoor
The Nomads’ team mood has still been soaring astronomically high after their awesome 4-0 victory against Oxford, when everyone brought to the day their best hockey and then some. Despite narrowly losing the BUCS Cup Final to Loughborough on Wednesday, we were still confident that our team form would be enough to beat the tough St. Ives team and so avoid relegation from the league for another week. And why not? Our memorable and hard fought 2-1 win against them in November ended our losing streak that stretched back to the beginning of the season. It was proof for us that with some Barman love, i.e. an evening meeting to discuss our mental confidence as an entire team and our individual abilities, we were a class outfit and seriously hard to beat.
Overall the match was disappointing, but not without some mood-lifting interludes from the Nomads. We started really well, despite the slow and sticky sand pitch, with our midfield and strikers cutting through the St Ives defence and making a few excellent shots at goal, with space in the D to boot. We had many short corners in the first half, in which we were so close to scoring but couldn’t quite put it in. Missing our corner queen Freddie, currently injured, didn’t help. At half-time the score was 0-1, and we were all a little disheartened given the amount of times our scoring opportunities hadn’t turned into goals. Freddie decided to come on despite the pain to give us that extra confidence to come back in the second half, there was nothing to lose and we genuinely could beat their team in every area apart from scoring! She, Boo, and Rhi defended magnificently and set up counter-attacks, and Alicia was a stand-out offensive player in mid-field, but unfortunately we still couldn’t convert, and instead conceded a couple more goals too easily. The final score-line showed a St Ives team playing more freely and jubilantly given their secure place on the table, that they were much more used to playing on their slow pitch (it definitely didn’t suit our fast and fit style of play), and their genuinely strong on-the-ball skills. We walked away, along with our opposition, flabbergasted at the low standard of umpiring which certainly hadn’t helped us, at how many times we might have scored, and what might have been had we done so early on.
DOD goes to Esther who slept past her 9.30am sleep-in alarm (yep, big week), and MOM goes to Boo who tackled and dispossessed the St Ives attack countless times with her ever-dependable defensive prowess.
MoM Boo Tooze
DoD Esther Counsell
04/03/17 Nomads 1-0 Lowestoft Ladies 1s | MoM Alicia Murphy
No match report.
25/02/17 Nomads 0-2 Harleston Magpies 2s | MoM The Nomads
Saturday morning – Harleston Magies, previously lost 7-0. We battled hard against the top of the league team and by half time we were 2-0 down, same as before, however we battled the second half like heros, holding them off to draw the second half! Team dinner – botters turns up late as he was buying new shoes, questioning his priorities! Profile reading – a range, from the brutality of Freddie’s, to the inner beast of sass, and a lovely collection of poems. Team breakfast – how can we genuinely think we could eat that much?! Very cute compliments written about one another. Turn up at wilby-hype builds during the matches, 3 from 3 before us, all on shuffles. Sal tells us we must win outright to keep to schedule. Our game – smash oxford (separate match report). A lot of prosecco, many a team photo, an emotional talk from botters, and into cones. Wandies game – continue to get more bevved, they win, nomads pile on top of Larman pres- a lot of cheese, we all sing the Mulan song. Memory from this point on is questionable. A swap happened, it was decided oxford boys were quite boring. A distinct lack of sauce, and for me a v early night.
MoM The Nomads
DoD Annie O’Neill
18/02/17 Nomads 1-1 Bury St. Edmunds 1s | MoM Beth Barker
Fact #1: The Nomads scored a whopping 8 goals and crushed Bury in a brutal yet classy stride to victory. Lemme tell you folks this is the best win there’s ever been since the last win, the best win in the world. It was most certainly not an alarmingly tight draw.
Fact #2: The match was a clean cut affair, with absolutely no stick tackles or flooring fouls. All of the women on the pitch played fairly – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.
Fact #3: A certain nomad scored an excellent flick, and most certainly did not two touch the ball. We score the best flicks – and nobody scores flicks better than us, believe me – and we’ll score them very clinically.
Fact #4: A certain educational professional most definitely did not threaten to take the umpires back to school. There was no grabbing by the rule book.
What is much more interesting however, is the Nomads excursions at Kit Swap, which deserves a thorough and truthful report reminiscent of the BBC’s John Sopel. As per usual Funmads/Lashmads/Conemads were on mad form, with many a VK seen splattered all over the precious playing shirt. Liza Hartley certainly scored a few goals with a certain Tottenham supporter, whilst Annie O’neil committed some serious incest, and not for the first time. Rumour has it that she performed some ‘selective breeding’ when it came to her college family choices…
On a serious note, a massive thank you must go out to Olivia Shears for stepping in at the last minute to assist the team (and also the goal). On an even seriousER note, MoM goes to the wonderful Beth, who persisted with heart and gusto in the face of a tidal wave of tackles.
Happy Week 5 to you all, including to our many enemies and those who have fought us and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do.
Nomads love xx
MoM Beth Barker
DoD Rhiannon Osborne
No match report.
04/02/17 Nomads 0-0 Norwich Dragons 2| MoM Rhiannon Osborne
The day started with the intense stares of a varsity photoshoot, with much debate as to whether smiling was a good thing or whether a game face can ever look acceptable. This was then filmed with Botters and Larman crumbling with laughter whilst we filmed them for our promo video (shout out – watch this space)!
On to the game – this was a crunch game for the nomads, with a win bringing us level with norwich in the table at stake. Despite some beautiful hockey and endless domination, we just couldn’t convert this into goals – something that will be resolved before we face o*ford in 2 weeks. For now the Nomads will continue to spend endless hours perfecting the varsity promo video, thinking up new banner ideas, and abstaining from VKs, staying loyal to our VKation in preparation for the big VKend.
MoM: Rhiannon Osborne
DoD: Annie O’Neill
No match report.
20+1/01/17 Nomads 0-7 Cam City 2s | MoM Freddie Hampel
Finally returning to being nomads instead of just nomatch, we started the term off with the toughest match of all against top of the league cam city. After hearing that ex blues captain T was playing we knew that it would be tough, and the nomads held them back in the first half only conceding 2 goals. Unfortunately the second half happened, changing the scoreline further than most of us even thought. A bad start to the season but not at all reflective of the victories to come, trying to escape relegation zone.
MoM: Freddie Hampel
DoD: Annie O’Neill
3/12/16 Nomads 2-1 Colchester 1s | MoM Rhiannon Osborne
In their last game of the season, the nomads overcame many a challenge to defeat their opponents in a thrilling 2-1 victory. Despite what many might have thought was a sports themed episode of Eastenders, in between the spirited debate some awesome hockey was played.
With many of the team in an undisclosed mountainous location, it was up to some brave Bedouin players to step into their shoes. Tamara had an excellent stint in defence, working solidly to successfully fend off several short corners. Emma’s Irish wit and charm saw her schmooze past the opposition into the D and set up much of our attacking play, including winning a short. Isla and Charlotte also had cracking games.
The midfield had an excellent game, working hard to attack and defend. In the absence of a stopper, Brennan’s brains were employed during our attacking short corner routine and she hatched a successful plan. A ‘fake stop’ routine befuddled their defence, and Cat clinically converted this into a goal. Teppy also scored an excellent goal, securing the 2-1 victory.
As usual Potter was simply too speedy for the opposition, and was as hard to catch on the wing as the golden snitch. Once again, Boo continued to terrify the increasing angered Colchester side by smacking balls from one end of the pitch to another.
A special mention must go to our temporary coach Jim, whose gentle yet effective half time talk was truly inspirational and hundy P led us to our final victory.
Well done to the whole team, a great note to end the season on for the nomads!
MoM Rhiannon Osborne
DoD Rhiannon Osborne
Despite the empty promises of a DoD being chosen post christmas dinner and a match report then being written, club captain Sal got nothing. So no match report, but it can be said that all three womens’ teams drew this weekend.
MoM Annie O’Neill
19/11/16 Nomads 1-1 Lindum 1s| MoM Liza Hartley
Harriet Potter sends her sincerest apologies to club captain sal for no match report this week. Despite her previous experience in match report writing, week 7 has just got a bit too much for our resident wizard, so as a great pal, comrade, ex-coach and club captain I have taken it upon myself to write one for Miss Potter.
Regarding the hockey, I wasn’t there, so cannot tell you what happened beyond the nomads drew 1-1, and GK Liza had a stormer hence her MoM. In the meantime, Potter, continues to be in unflattering photos and getting DoD as a results (see figure 1- SORRRRYYYYY POTTERRRRR)
MoM Liza Hartley
DoD Harriet Potter
12/11/16 Nomads 2-1 St. Ives 1s| MoM Rhiannon Osborne
I wish to begin this match report by exposing the great injustice that was my DoD coronation.
Trench raincoats are not only highly practical, but also very fashionable in Scandinavia.
Just ask the Queen of Denmark:
The obvious DoD nomination was Esther, who played in a visor hat in the cold November rain.
She tried to pass this off as cultural difference, but as a fellow Australian I can assure you that no link should be made between Estah’s antics and our glorious nation.
Moving swiftly along to less contro matters…
On Game Eve, Larman and Botters hosted a tactical meeting which will go down in nomadic history as being ‘quite insightful’ (Teplensky, 2016). Many topics were addressed, but these will be omitted here, as we don’t want other lurking teams to benefit from Barman’s bottomless lagoon of wisdom. Cap’n Pavey had one important message to bring to the table, and this can be shared here, because it is highly generic and of limited use to anyone:
‘It dawned on me that all we have to do is go out and win a game of hockey, like, that’s all. We just need to win the next 70 minutes, well you know, not the next 70 minutes because we have to warm up, but 70 minutes from the starting whistle’ (Pavey, 2016).
As inspiring as it does not sound, we should probably attribute the Nomads victory to other things.
And yes, you read that right. We won. Winner winner chicken dinner.
For the first time in 47 years the nomads were playing at home. The skies opened up and the light blues were in their element. Soggy and determined, an epidemic of excitement spread throughout the team in warm up. ‘Not today, St Ives. Not today’. The mantra was catchy.
The whistle blew and the dark horse was unleashed. From the get-go the nomads go-got. They made sliding tackles, fifty-fifty balls, interceptions and short corners. Surely enough, a long-time-coming goal – astutely rebounded by Pavey off my ‘anti-skill’ distraction backhand – broke the silence.
‘I was shitting myself’ (Pavey, 2016). The nomads took the lead into the half time repose.
The tenacity of the second half mirrored the first. Loose Cannon Rhiannon got 800 metres of ground with every run, and St Ives’ defence was sweating heavier than Hilary Clinton. A corner, against play and all laws of velocity, snuck through and the score was once more tied.
But the nomads had not cycled ten minutes to draw a match. Somewhere between the 56th and 61st minute Freddie Hampel, assisted by a St Ives defender, buried a short in the top of the net.
The sideline support called it early: ‘That’ll do Nomads, that’ll do.’ (Brennan & Brennan, 2016)
The whistle blew and tears of jubilation were shed: ‘Those are our girls!’ (Botters & Larman, 2016)
And so the nomads began their winning streak.
MoM Rhiannon Osborne
DoD Georgina Baker
05/11/16 Nomads 1-4 Lowerstoft 1s | MoM Anne Zwolman
‘Misery loves company’, reflected the ever optimistic Captain Pavey from Boo’s backseat. We were driving to the most eastern settlement in mainland UK on a bitingly cold Saturday morning, our second (far far) away game in as many weeks. Team bonding was going to be Pavey’s cure all. But Esther had just attempted to sneak tinned chilli tuna for breakfast in the backseat, and the fishy odour had escaped. (They had been politely warned, but GBakes had been too preoccupied asking Boo the Anglo-Saxon origins of the town name ‘Oxf*rd’ to listen up. Deserved?). Boo had suffered the first of many deathly blows that day.
When we finally arrived it was icy cold and about to rain. We braved it well on the warm up pitch, filled as we were with a determination to win, but it all seemed for naught as soon as we were let onto the match turf. Dirty, clumpy sand turned our promising show of skill into a lifeless slow motion reel. Perhaps the sand had been sourced directly from the Lowerstoft beaches as a cost saving exercise and spread across the field by the spadeful. In any case, we were discouraged before the match even started, our hockey balls reduced to fighting the sand piles of Suffolk. Despite our added efforts to pass the ball strong and quick, the energetic fashion in which we beat the Lincoln 1s 5-1 on Wednesday was not looking replicable.
The Nomads held onto possession for most of the match, with some stunningly good transfer play from Freddie and Boo giving Alicia and Sass time and space to run with the ball and carve up the defensive midfield, before releasing onto our forward line. Rhiannon was particularly ace at beating their midfielders and moving the ball into their half, and Anne and Jess gave great opening passes up the line after winning the ball in midfield, Jess stoically as she hobbled from shin splints.
Nevertheless, we were unable to convert or get a corner in the first half, and a couple of individual run-away goals left us trailing 0-2 at half-time. The sluggish pace of the ball on the sand had been compounded by the experienced tackling displayed by the opposing defenders on our weak sides, which turned over possession one too many times. After a motivating half-time discussion we went into the second half with fire and resolve to pick up the intensity and get that goal through sustained effort. We did consistently create chances at the top of the D, but just as often were unable to clinch our final shots and/or beat the goalie who was proving to be above average.
Lowestoft, on the other hand, took their chances with merciless pace up the wing right to the front of goal. Our defence was strong and effective despite facing all the onslaught coming from their midfield, with Freddie making heroic tackles in the pouring rain, and Boo getting in the way of a few too many dangerous balls towards the goal, forcing her off the pitch by the end. (‘Everything hurts.’) Not too soon, we ended the match with a team goal born of desperate persistence: after four or five successive attempts at goal by Esther, Beth, and Rhiannon, GBakes’ finally had the goalie out of position and clinically finished. We were ready to let the floodgates open, and another GBakes shot narrowly missed, but it was a bit too late to dream.
An honourable mention goes to Jim’s granddad, our keen CUHC supporter in enemy territory.
MoM Anne Zwolman
DoD Esther Harris
29/10/16 Nomads 0-7 Harleston Magpies 2s | MoM Esther Harris
It all started at training last Thursday.
The sunset at Wilberforce road was sublime – almost otherworldly. Boo had never seen anything so beautiful. ‘They don’t have sunsets like this in Oxf*rd’, she sighed. Boo felt lucky. As a matter of fact, so did the rest of the nomads. Little did they know, their fortunes were about to change. To an untrained eye, what brought the Nomad’s into sudden disfavour was unclear. As the omniscient narrator I can tell you that it was Botters’ abhorrent crossbar-challenge efforts that angered the spirits.
Rhianna was sacrificed on his behalf. Possessed, she tripped over. Over thin air? A spirit’s foot? Her own foot? The nomads will never know. What they did know is that immediately after the incident the wind changed 13 times. And when the howling subsided, Cat’s cough could be heard in the east.
Cough. Cough. Cough.
Saturday rolled in at a heinous hour. The cam was covered in a harrowing mist and not a tourist was to be seen. An unmanned punt floated upstream.
There were 13 fowl carcasses splattered across the highway to Harleston. A befuddled man on the roadside waved his arms about. The nomads, all relatively rational beings (except Gbakes), thought he was crazy, and so they continued yonder. Perhaps this man was wiser than his dreadlocks made him seem.
Met by the generous provision of tea, biscuits and leather sofas at the magpie clubhouse, the away team were lulled into a state of languor. Was it a trap? Freddie had several theories.
The girls in black warmed up well, only to find out that they were in fact playing on the other pitch. ‘There’s something fishy about this’ exclaimed captain, Alice Pavey. Esther could not agree more. The temperature was 13 degrees higher than any October day on record in the last 666 years.
‘It’s just strange’ noted Teppy.
On the game pitch, a headless fox mounted on a witches hat awaited the girls in their dug out. ‘How peculiar’ pondered Alicia. She was not wrong. Brenaan threw a ball as hard as she could at the ground, but it did not bounce. This was highly improbable and so she tried again. It still did not bounce.
‘Look at your shirt!’ exclaimed Jess. Indeed, a muddy mark in the shape of a triangle had been splashed up from the swampy turf onto Sass’s back. Liza had seen such a mark before, in the bathrooms of Peterhouse. Beth’s face turned whiter than normal and Potter’s elbow scar began to sting.
There was a feeling of ferment about the Nomads, but none could identify the source of the distress…they pondered for a moment.
‘I know what’s wrong’ interjected Anne. She pointed at the windmill on the hill.
It was spinning anticlockwise.
‘In Holland dat is very bad sign’, said Anne.
…and so the nomads lost.
MoM: Esther Harris
DoD: Rhiannon (Report written by Georgie Baker)
22/10/16 Nomads 1-2 Bedford 2s | MoM Harriet Potter
The Nomads were ready for battle after a triumphant 7-1 victory against Warwick Uni 2s on Wednesday, especially given their new-found fame (see http://www.varsity.co.uk/sport/11056 ). It was a slightly shaky start but after the first 10 minutes we were in the flow, setting up beautiful passages of play resulting in several chances in the D. Later in the first half, the Nomads’ intensity slightly slipped and we were unlucky to concede a goal when the opposition hit a bobbly ball into the D that was deflected by one of their players (seemingly by accident!). Rather than wallow in self-pity, the Nomads regained their confidence and played some lovely passing hockey to work the ball up the pitch and threaten the Bedford goal. After winning a few short corners, we managed to convert one through a rebound off a straight strike, popped in by newly-christened smurf.
After a motivational half-time team talk, the Nomads went into the second half playing brilliant linking hockey and had plenty of shots on goal. However, Bedford kept the pressure on us and eventually, after some scrappy play in the D, they put another goal away towards the end of the second half.
Despite the scoreline, this was without doubt one of the Nomads’ best performances yet, with many skills and tactics that we’ve worked on in training being put into practice. We played with passion against a skilful opposition and there are a lot of positives to take away from the match.
MoM Harriet Potter
DOD Alicia Murphy
15/10/16 Nomads 0-2 Norwich Dragon 2s | MoM Boo Tooze
On Saturday the 15th of October the ladies of the CUHC Nomads played the Norwich Dragons away with a 1:30 push back. After a disappointing score line on Wednesday but some really promising stuff in training we were eager to reassert ourselves as a force to be reckoned with in the league. As the match began we went hard out straight away playing some very promising connections up the right channel, within the first five minutes balls found their way to Pavey, Michelle and Rhiannon in and around the D. But the Dragons were plying an aggressive 3 at the back and soon we were under pressure from their high press. Despite many stick tackles that were questionably unnoticed by the umpire we began to be pressured in our 25. Rhianna and Freddie made strong transfers across the back outletting to Alicia and Potter on the two wings and Rhiannon, Hannah and Brennan making lead in the middle. despite everyone’s best efforts the Dragon did make insurgencies into our D and after around 15 minutes were awarded their fist short corner which was an excellently defended attempt at a deflection where the initial save was made on the post only for the rebound to roll directly parallel with the goal line only to be smashed away by Rhianna. Once or twice we were caught out by difficult passes under their press as the dragons crept up the pitch again and eventually a very dubious short corner was given due to the ‘dangerous’ lifting of the ball into a player which was not actually the result of the Nomads. Potter, Alicia, Rhianna and Freddie went hard out to defend the corner, the initially lifted ball was saved but the rebound fell onto the stick of a Dragon, after a very scrappy battle on the goal line the nomads were unlucky to concede a goal after around 20 minutes.
The remainder of the first half showed real promise, undeterred by the goal Nomads kept the pressure on further up the pitch and Michelle and Beth made very promising attempts including some breaks that led to Dragon’s fouls. it was clear we were getting under their skin as the clock ticked down for half time. At this point our fearless leader Alice Pavey’s absence due to back injury must be noted as usually an absolute savage in the attacking 25. Despite looking dangerous on several occasions, the dragons goal keeper was evidently having a good day and nomads were unable to finalise an outcome in the D before the end of the first half.
After the half time team talk it was clear the nomads were still absolutely up for the fight, certainly the fitter team we were keen to use our fitness advantage as the other team began to flag. The second half began with all the aggression of the first and the Nomads won a short corner early on, an unbearably close Utah attempt saw Michelle almost make it onto the score line. as the dragons tired the game became more end to end and for prolonged periods the Nomads were dominating with Boo finding cracking balls up the left channel. on a break the dragons returned into our 25 attempting a deflection which was saved and Freddie cleared the ball away. But now the dragons pressed hard unwilling to let us pressure their 25 again. Successfully defended short corner was quickly succeeded by another short corner in which an initially saved ball rebounded and allowing the dragons to score on the post 10 minutes into the second half.
Despite being annoyed by the scrappy goal just scored the nomads rallied for each other and began creeping up the pitch by degrees toward the dragon’s den (lol). finally the many stick tackles from the dragons in the D were recognised and a short corner was awarded. the initial attempt on goal was only just saved and the rebound of the keeper was slammed into the back of the net by Michelle. the loud cheers of the nomads were interrupted as the Umpire disallowed the goal on a technicality. The dragons returned into our half in search of another goal but were repeatedly denied by Boo, Freddie, Rhianna, Alicia and Potter all of whom had a storming second half. in the last 10 minutes Nomads dominated undoubtedly maintaining the majority of possession. The dragons’ fitness levels wore thin as we repeatedly broke into their 25. but play was repeatedly broken up by messy tackles, Annie went stick to stick with a player in a long stand off on their baseline at the edge of the D. despite looking so dangerous as the match concluded the clock ticked down without the deserved goal and the Nomads left the pitch down 2 goals. Despite the disappointing score line the girls agreed it had been a good match to experience a physical team that broke down play and put us under defensive pressure.
MOM was Boo for cracking balls that blew apart their press DOD was Liza for not knowing that Butter was a dairy product.
MoM: Boo Tooze
DOD: Liza Hartley
08/10/16 Nomads 0-5 Dereham 1s | MoM Freddie Hampel
We sprinted, we tackled, we worked the ball up the pitch, we stepped in front, we defended (shout out to MoM Freddie who had a stormer) but unfortunately when the opposition score 5 goals and we score 0, the only thing we could do was lose. We’ll do better next weekend.
MoM – Freddie Hampel
DOD – Harriet Potter
01/10/16 Nomads 1-4 Cambridge City 2s | MoM Annie O'Neill
No Match Report.
MoM – Annie O’Neill
DOD – Czink
24/09/16 Nomads 0-2 Bury St. Edmunds 1s | MoM Harriet Potter
No Match Report.
MoM – Harriet Potter
DOD – Czink
17/09/16 Nomads 1-1 Colchester 1s | MoM Alicia Murphy
A Tale of Two Volleys
On Saturday morning, a very new and shiny Nomads team set off for Colchester. The match got off to a fairly shaky start, Colchester had most of the possession and were playing a high press that we struggled to break through. However after the first 10 minutes we began to settle in, Potter’s fresher counterpart, Alicia, at left half making some truly Potter-esque tackles. Nomads veterans HB, Shears and Cat Cox held the team together as we surged forward and on to the opposing goal. What happened next is blurry, and I can’t recall precise details, but suddenly a ball came steaming across the opposing D, in slow motion to the tense onlookers. Fresher Georgie Baker steps up, her moment to shine, to prove herself in CUHC. She takes her stick back, beads of sweat percolating off her forehead, and brings it through to volley the ball cleanly into the back of the net. 1-0 going into half time.
More hockey followed, as tends to be the case. Again, details are blurry, I was quite tense. Colchester appeared to be doing well though and they definitely seemed to often be in our D. The Nomads were putting up a stunning fight however, Liza in goal making some majestic saves. This reached its pinnacle when Colchester lifted a ball into the top right corner, only for Rhianna Miller to decide she was having approximately none of it today, and volley the ball out of goal and away from the huddle of Colchester players desperately trying to salvage a hockey match where they had had at least 500 shots on goal but had, quite simply failed to convert.
I wish the report could end there, but it doesn’t quite. In the dying minutes Colchester scored a blisteringly average goal. Snakes.
Despite this, we came away with both a draw and a smug sense of satisfaction after having considerably less possession in the second half. A solid start to the season in a new league, a nice enough afternoon in Colchester, and pie and chips for match teas. Not much to complain about really.
MOM – Alicia
DOD – Pavey
|Date||Match type||Opposition||Venue||PB Time||Score|
|19/09/15||League||Wisbech Town 2||A||1230||D 2-2|
|26/09/15||League||Cambridge Nomads 1||H||1200||L 0-2|
|03/10/15||League||Lindum 2||A||1200||W 3-0|
|10/10/15||League||St Ives||H||1200||L 1-5|
|17/10/15||League||Alford & District 1||A||1230||L 2-4|
|21/10/15||BUCS League||De Monfort University 1||H||1500||W 9-1|
|24/10/15||League||Newmarket 1||A||1400||W 5-0|
|28/10/15||BUCS Cup||De Monfort University 1||A||1400||W 8-1|
|31/10/15||League||City of Peterborough 2||H||1330||W 2-1|
|04/11/15||BUCS League||Bedfordshire University 1||A||1300||W 26-0|
|07/11/15||League||St Neots 1||A||1130||W 5-0|
|11/11/15||BUCS Cup||Aston University 2||A||1400||W 2-1|
|14/11/15||League||Long Sutton 1||H||1200||W 4-1|
|18/11/15||BUCS League||University of Northampton||H||1700||W 6-0|
|21/11/15||League||Pelicans 1||A||1200||W 4-0|
|25/11/15||BUCS Cup||Oxford Brookes University 2||H||1500||W 5-3|
|28/11/15||League||Cambridge City 3||H||1200||W 4-0|
|02/12/15||BUCS League||Nottingham Trent University 4||A||1630||W 11-0|
|05/12/15||League||Wisbech Town 2||H||1200||W 3-0|
|09/01/16||League||Cambridge Nomads 1||A||1100||W 3-0|
|16/01/16||League||Lindum 2||H||1200||W 8-0|
|23/01/16||League||St Ives 1||A||1230||D 2-2|
|30/01/16||League||Alford and District 1||H||1200||W 3-2|
|03/02/16||BUCS League||Lincoln University 3||H||1500||W 12-0|
|06/02/16||League||Newmarket 1||H||1200||W 8-1|
|10/02/16||BUCS League||Coventry University 2||H||1500||W 7-0|
|13/02/16||League||City of Peterborough 2||A||1130||W 3-0|
|17/02/16||BUCS Cup||Nottingham University 3||A||-||W 3-2|
|24/02/16||BUCS League||Anglia Ruskin (Cambridge) 1||A||-||W 15-0|
|27/02/16||League||St Neots 1||H||1200||W 5-1|
|05/03/16||League||Long Sutton 1||A||1300||D 1-1|
|09/03/16||BUCS Cup final||Warwick University 1||A||-||W 4-2|
|12/03/16||League||Pelicans 1||H||1200||W 8-1|
|19/03/16||League||Cambridge City 3||A||1230||D 3-3|
2016/16 Match Reports
Despite being very serious about hockey for the previous two weeks, the Nomads had not really managed to be serious about anything since Sunday. (Did you know, we won Varsity?). Training had not occurred all week – obviously – TJ had had a 4 day hangover and Lily was busy keeping her head down, having just managed to escape from the lockup.
Luckily the Nomads were finding other things to do; whilst Mol was dabbling in netball, Burrows was still counting the number of boys she had kissed in Wahoo, Frostie actually did a proper official exam (nobody knows how) and Freddie was busy getting to grips with online gambling in an attempt to make up for some lost cash.
Although this lack of training seemed apparent in a pretty lacklustre warm-up, the Nomads appeared to be back to their best when the whistle blew. Under the watchful eye of Nomad fave Ian Wilson, hockey appeared to be going quite well, with Flic burying a goal early on. Sadly, this didn’t last long, when a period of slightly dubious play (theories for the root cause of this marked deterioration include residual alcohol in blood systems, tired legs and the sensing of CCHC members at Wilby) allowed St Neots to claw one back on the breakaway. Luckily, the Nomads managed to recover, and it was Shelley not Teppy who had turned up, putting goal number two away, and easing the pressure into half-time.
In the second half, the Nomads played considerably better. Rebecca Wilson made an appearance at half-back, Durrans floored quite an old woman and broke her stick. Nomad short corner routines proved to be unstoppable, with a ‘fiat’, a ‘utah’, and a ‘Bieber’, all delivering the goods, with goals from Soph, Becky and Shears. Final score 5-1. [Fun-fact: the Nomads have not lost a game since the 17th October.]
After some very satisfying teas, it was categorically, objectively and unanimously decided that the absent Captain would receive DOD for her speedy and expensive exit from Oxford. Hysteria then crept into Wilby as it became apparent that the Cambridge City Men’s teams were about to gather, leaving the Homerton car desperately searching for a quick exit so they weren’t spotted by various love interests.
Varsity may be over and done with, but with a league promotion, impending Wanderers’ cocktails, Varsity Ball, a second Cam City Swap, and the BUCS cup to come, the Lashmads still have much to play for, both on and off the pitch. Although, rumours that the club may step in to foot the bill remain unsubstantiated.
DOD Freddie “the club will pay” Hampel
16/01/16 Nomads 8-0 Lindum 2s MOM Georgie Burrows
As the sun crept up from behind castle hill to illuminate the frosted fortress, a weary Webster trudged solemnly about the perimeter of the pitch, mourning the cancellation of the highly anticipated Squandies match. But the prospect of a bleak day of no hockey thawed from his mind as quickly as it had started to settle, as the Nomads arrived on the scene. Not only that, but owing to some fortuitous match cancellations, they were joined by their entire coaching committee and an ex-Captain… rumour has it that Preston was also within the confines of the city, but was unfortunately too intimidated to show face to his successors #prestonstillout
The changing rooms were a hot bed of excitement as the fabled new kit was unveiled for the world to see. Meanwhile outside, whilst sub-zero temperatures had led to questionable pitch conditions, all had faith that the danger moon would serve its purpose and make it playable. The news also arrived that Lindum were delayed in transit, giving the sun all the time gainz to go about its business… rumours that they were frozen in fear of facing such a formidable opposition remain unfounded.
The solid state of the pitch (one of 4 available states of matter #science) also led to what can only be described as a ‘dance’ from TJ, in the style of a seagull searching for worms (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_9aoCvFBN0), which involved methodical banging of his hockey stick against the astro. The rocky echos that resonated back from the floor led to a ‘back yourself and just don’t fall over’ approach to the icy corner of the pitch, and an intense localised warm up ensued to attempt to raise the core temperature of both the players and the playing surface using friction alone.
Owing to the extra time available, a cheeky short corner session followed suit… with subtlety being paramount, the Nomads proceeded to show off all of their least obvious plays to the opposition, quietly confident that a stealthy approach would be unnecessary and that it is much better to play Poker with your cards face up!
The team took up their positions on the ice rink, new shirts gleaming and the support troops ever growing on the side lines. The game got off to a dubious start with the girls very much biding their time and, possibly due to a lack of Dr. Cox and her medical knowhow, being anything but clinical in the D.
35 minutes elapsed with only 1 goal to show for it. Clearly now was a time for a revival of the somewhat niche hashtag #findthegoalalot (T; 2015). Words were exchanged. Sweets were spilt all over the floor. The whiteboard featured. Following some contemplation, the coaching committee decided to do something radical and deploy half court press.
Armed with a revised plan of action and buzzing with a new lease of life, the second half saw a completely different squad take to the pitch (despite being genetically identical to the side that played the first half). 7 goals followed suit from a menagerie of players, bringing the final tally to a respectable 7+1 (contact JoJo, our resident mathmo, if you are having issues with the calculations here)
- 3 for Burrows v2.0 – speculation that the Blues captain had dropped herself in order to up her fantasy stats was rife, but it was her fresher faced counterpart that managed to bag a cheeky hat trick
- 2 for Becky – for those unfamiliar with this player, she has only been on the CUHC scene since 2016, but is already raising the standards of maturity and responsibility within the club. She even comes with her own accommodation and a complete collection of everything
- 1 for Shelley – turns out crustaceans also thrive on the precipitation formed from melting ice #whoknew
- 1 for Hannah Brown – evidently Lindum didn’t do their intell pre-game, else they would’ve been better braced to face the Nomads ‘Star Player’
- 1 for Holmes – a fellow Fridge Society founder, taking a break from the day job as a kitchen appliance detective to put one in the back of the net
Evidently, whilst the Nomads might’ve taken a little longer to de-ice this Saturday (possible gap in the market here for antifreeze stash?), they are still very much on fire #thestreakcontinues #firechickensforthewin
MOM – Georgie Burrows
DOD – Frostie
25/11/15 Nomads 5-3 Oxford Brookes 2s (BUCS Cup)
The Nomads put out a strong performance against Oxford Brookes 2s (who sit two BUCS leagues above us) to progress through to the quarter-finals of the BUCS Midland Conference Cup. Cambridge looked dangerous from the start, with Teplensky finding the net in the first 15 minutes. But Brookes were also efficient on the break, and responded every time the Nomads went up. A short-corner strike from Holmes and an “sick” deflection from Shears settled the team at 3-1. But then another Brookes’ goal followed. Glanfield nonchalantly slotted one back for Cambridge but Brookes scored another. At 4-3 to Cambridge, the Nomads recovered from some shaky moments to hold possession and were rewarded with a well worked final goal from fresher Burrows. Scorers: Michelle Teplensky, Felicity Holmes, Olivia Shears, Sophie Glanfield and Georgie Burrows.
28/11/15 Nomads 4-0 Cambridge City 3s
On Saturday the Nomads had a great game,
Unsurprising for a team with 12 consecutive wins to claim.
TJ learnt from his mistake
And knew at what hour to wake
To see his and Lily’s team live up to their name.
MOM Michelle Teplensky and Hannah Brown
DOD JoJo S-W
21/11/15 Nomads 4-0 Pelicans 1s MOM Charlotte Frost
Regarding the match, there is little to say – a blisteringly cold day, hurricane winds and a swampy marsh of a pitch.
We won 4-0. Slotted the goals in with defence having to do little more than the odd sprint back when they got a break away. A generous team, we shared out the glory – Michelle, Shears, Frost and Burrows each took a goal. I put the top form down to the pre-match Soreen that was handed around.
Charlotte had her usual stormer on the field – spinning like a record baby right round round yeah. As if she was an inner for all these years. That girl has only one thing on her mind – the pandora’s box of the hockey pitch – the goal.
More important was the 1h 30min drive that allowed extensive discussion of CUWHC’s favourite topics. Without revealing too many private, the journey involved Funky Dee’s ‘Are you gonna bang doe’ and Charlotte admitted to owning handcuffs.
All in all a long journey, a good win and a mighty cold day. Pelicans match teas of a pasty and the baked beans made it all worth it.
14/11/15 Nomads 4-1 Long Sutton 1s
It was a cold, blustery, and a bit rainy day in the land of Wilberfortress. But even the horrible weather couldn’t dull the Nomads’ sparkle! They were having a lovely time playing lovely hockey.
After skipping their way through a wonderful warm-up, the Nomads were dazzling the opposition with shiny skills and pretty passing. Sleeping beauty Flissy opened the goal-scoring with a perfect short corner strike, sparking off a scintillating attack. Shelley soon followed suit, clawing her way to yet another goal by out-witting the keeper at close range, despite Libby’s best efforts to pinch it on the line (oh Libby! What are you like?!)
At half-time, the Nomads fed off positivity and sweeties. Trina and Brownie made glimmering runs down the middle of the pitch and the Nomad charm was flowing as Rosa sliced the ball into the net. Magical! Ally proved all the haters wrong when she deflected goal number four into the net off the keepers’ pads. Who said she couldn’t deflect again?
But then, the sky got a little darker and the Nomad glow began to fade. Frost seemed to settle on the pitch as Emmy and Lotta got caught in a clashing tackle. Oh no! The green card came out and Emmy was banished. Would the team be able to recover…before it was too late?
Everyone pulled together with tremendous teamwork until Emmy returned. But even she couldn’t stop one wicked ball making it past the otherwise impassible keeper Simmy. Then…uh oh…double disaster! Cookey was shown a green card as well! Naughty Nomads!
With fewer than the correct number of players, the Nomads were determined to hold on. Granny Willis tried to help from the side-line but got a bit confused. Silly Willy!
But, with fire in their hearts, the Nomads stayed strong and finished the game glowing in hockey. 4-1! The little Nomads retired home in good spirits, looking forward to their next adventures playing hockey in the land of Wilberfortress and maybe beyond.
MOM Hannah Brown
DOD Steph Willis
07/11/15 Nomads 5-0 St Neots 1s
St Neots… a place of fable; home to a dragonboat team, a 6 screen Cineworld deluxe and a questionable hockey pitch. Classified as an away fixture but in reality taking no longer than the cycle from Xmas Dinner to life (and with far less risk of injury), a team of nomadic explorers set off in some all new transport stash… small white cars.
On arrival at the pitch they were greeted by the sandy settlement that was the astro, perhaps inspired by the Cornish beaches that served as the roots of Neot himself (seriously google him, sounded like he led quite a banterous life as a 4ft soldier monk!)… the atmosphere was bleak. At the Hawks club in the sky, a call of “down it fresher” had clearly been made to an unsuspecting first year cloud and a mass downpour of precipitation followed suit. But neither rain nor Nomads could be deterred, and with players quickly being forced to adopt the mindset of a sponge, the game was soon underway.
70mins of hockey then followed suit. Rain was remorseless. Lib lob Shears was equally unrelenting, flooring her opposite number twice in the duration of the game by her mere presence within a 5m radius of the woman #whysoshearious. In a fun plot twist to the normal tale of the Nomads, a whole 5 goals were converted… clearly the flood gates had been opened in more ways than one:
- 2 goals for Libby – one of which was from an oldskool penalty flick #vintage
- 2 goals for cap’n Ham – still riding the wave from last week’s MOMmage with some tactical post side loitering, and fast becoming a fantasy league dream player
- 1 goal for resident crustacean Shelly – a snazzy deflection over a defender, evidently feeling at home in the wet conditions
Post-match, it transpired the Nomads had also accrued as many supporters as they had subs (stats unheard of for an away game), with many parents that were coincidentally ‘just visiting’ (Rozzie 2015). Owing both to Buxton’s birthday and traybake tradition, much cake was consumed, and much to certain players disappointment (ok well really only one players, but still!), none of this was worn. Match teas were a slightly eclectic combo of chips and curry, but did not disappoint.
DOD: Frostie (for actions that may never truly be understood, with even Lauren unable to shed light on the matter)
TLDR: it was a day of all the things – There was rain. Lots of it. There were goals. Lots of them too. I say 5, you say…? (if you don’t get this reference, email oms26 to sign up for the ‘inspirational moments of CUHC’ seminar). There were also a lot of small white cars, and a not unsizeable number of parents.
#norainnogain #rainistemporarywinningisforever #venividivici #hockey
04/11/15 Nomads 26-0 University of Bedfordshire 1s
Josephine assures us that she had a really fun day out to a pitch in Luton, where the Nomads happened to be playing the University of Bedfordshire. Sophie Glanfield opened the scoring within two minutes. Michelle Teplensky netted another immediately after the restart. 24 more goals followed, scored in various fashion and in varying amounts, by various people, who included Freddie, Frostie, Pavey, Beth, Shears, Rosie Vince and possibly some others.
31/10/15 Nomads 2-1 City of Peterborough 2s
It was a beautiful sunny Saturday as the #sunmads assembled to take on the city of Peterborough, a place that could only be associated with freak snow storms, dubious birthdays and cups of beans, giving little away as to the hockey that was to come.
As the pre-game to the RWC final, big things were to be expected. Suncream was generously applied (courtesy of that guy who lives next to the medical room!) to the more pale/ginger members of the team. 2 obligatory team dogs had graced the pitch with their presence (shout out to Cooper and Tula) and the Nomads felt ready to take on the world (or at least a small Peterborough shaped segment of it… gotta start somewhere!)
Following a brief period of buffering while the teams waited for the second umpire to load, 22 intrepid warriors took their place on the battlefield…
Hockey began. The ball went places. The players went places. Sometimes the ball and the player went places together. The desperate search for the elusive backboard continued… was this to be another dry spell for the nomads? Were they to find themselves in a situation that not even a couple of VKs and some tequila could rectify?
But then, from within the confines of the fortress, 2 saviours emerged in the form of our new coaching committee… Swarge – a formidable duo of Swinn and Arge, bound to catch on as a nickname! Their mere presence pitchside was enough to fuel the fires of certain members of the squad, and a fruitful harvest of 2 goals (Hannah Brown, Mrs Teplensky) was collected. Unfortunately Peterborough somehow managed to acquire a rogue breakaway goal, but let’s not talk about that!
The final whistle sounded like music to nobody’s ears, as let’s face it whistles are in no way musical. But a wins a swinn! Skipper Freddie managed to squirm her way out of jaws of DOD for her elbow licking fetishes (people of cindies, you have been warned), and ended up MOM instead #crowdpleaser
MOM – Freddie
DOD – Frostie (gifs have been requested but unfortunately Microsoft Word does not support such a function… so you can all google dogs on toilets on your own time!)
24/10/15 Nomads 5-0 Newmarket 1s
The competition for Nomad DOD this week was so fierce that, I can only conclude, bemused by the outrageous antics of their elders, the freshers had no idea who to vote for, and simply just chose their favourite. The injustice of this is illustrated below:
Flic had spent the previous weekend being photographed progressively sinking a kayak at a Cambridge University Canoe Club taster session (yeah, lame). Frostie had turned up to Thursday training undoubtedly still under the influence of alcohol, having spent Wednesday evening prancing around Cindies, and the following morning cycling around town, dressed as a lion (admittedly, there is a fine line between MOM and DOD here). And Captain Freddie’s plans to play hockey and attend Varsity Ski Trip were thwarted by her believing that the 04.30 coach was due to leave at 16.30 (outrageously foolish).
Yet it was Shears who lost out, based on vicious and unfounded rumours surrounding clovers and pandas. There is a strong possibility people just wanted her to actually write a match report and send fewer emails about them.
Meanwhile, most of the Nomads were able to enjoy the thankfully shorter-than-two-hours journey to play hockey against Newmarket 1s. The presence of ‘horse blankets’ and absence of antihistamine in Frostie’s car, however, meant that Rozzie had a less than pleasant voyage. Luckily, speedy and somewhat dubious driving from Chazza F meant that Marshall arrived just in time for her puffed-up eyes to subside before the match.
On the pitch, the Nomads were on top of the opposition from the starting whistle, getting the ball to somewhere near the goal multiple times. With Coach Elliot watching on, the elusive goal-line was finally breached at 17 minutes 48 seconds, Michelle deflecting in a ball from Shears at right post, and beginning a scoring spree.
Michelle scored another two, increasing in flair variety from a reverse hit to a roof-of-net deflection off a great ball from Rozzie. Hampel managed to deflect a ball actually into the goal and Flic took some time out of kayaking to hit the backboard. With two minutes to go, Shears made it six, only to be left devastated as the ball was found to have crossed the line after a short-corner had been blown (regrettably an unfair day all round).
With the match won, the Nomads headed for teas of Domino’s pizza (the calorific equivalent of 2.8 VKs) at Newmarket Working Men’s Club, doing well to avoid being run over by Chazza F giving a lesson on how not to drive round a car-park. MOM was as hotly contested an affair as DOD, with a three-way tie between Rozzie, Georgie and Michelle, Michelle just pipping the others in a rogue second round of voting.
The occurrence of pub golf and initiations this week is likely to keep DOD a highly contested accolade. Let’s just hope Alice Pavey doesn’t fall off a chair again.
MOM Michelle Teplensky
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1271815072843938&set=ms.c.eJxNk9lxADEIQzvKcIP7byy2CGx~_3wghmV2W5GJROc5UeX74D1BwplsNEIOicoCRlJmQD~%3BCAwv8BeIgsOAC8W8ofsKMDTuf4FEegqPgDKjA1H1O9GW4OJl6gDVYRCHZnFiCH0WzRRBfKURjBg0wWoH5SLvAGE8yEH4hDH3hb1HdEHKayCkPbG2~_Avxx6zuaw04rNEQVFrmkqFFoLDGvJBlRgxGeLUwP9gAEYL8hWjKkrynlNdDes9fgUSOo5Sf3e~%3BXrU3ta9XjDZ~_h64vvAqouBhCwpd~_EwX78~_B93Pw0yPrEeRYa7MlhJ7CDi~%3BoYLIjgrbF0~_U~_JrZ8Ht45xD4A071tBD4HswkW~%3Beq5rx6FJzRd00OtmGMnN9AF3SU3R3K~_HPfX~%3BAW8~%3Br~%3Bq.bps.a.1271811979510914.1073741844.100000463733582&type=3&theater N.B Click through three photos for full effect
17/10/15 Nomads 2-4 Alford & District 1s
The Nomads were met with another 100-mile roadtrip this week; this time to the extremities of Skegness. Although a four-legged companion joined the squad for the equivalent fixture last year, only 15 two-legged hockey players made the trek from the Wilberfortress towards the Lincolnshire coast this time around.
A notable breeze met the Nomads as we pulled up in the carpark, with two cars narrowly avoiding a minor collision with the wild driving at the hands of one Charlotte Frost. Despite giving it all the chat that she would ‘bomb’ it up the A16 following a delayed start, captain Hampel got slightly lost and thus the Nomads were left waiting for their shirts in the away changing room.
Following this off-pitch start to the day, and a short warm-up in near cyclonic conditions, the game got underway with an exciting first goal from Sheario. The Nomads dominated possession through the final attacking third of the pitch, with the midfield patiently transferring around the periphery of the ‘D’, but as is to be continuously and rigorously worked on at training, finding the backboard proved to be a slight challenge. A straight-strike short corner brought a goal for Glanfield, and two good finishes from the opposition left the half-time score at 2-2.
The second half can be summed up by a controversially disallowed goal for Glanfield, and growing Nomadic frustrations with the match situation. Sadly the score line ended as 2-4, an incomprehensive representation of the match-up between the two teams as the Nomads were arguably the more skilful team.
Following some chip ‘butties’ (greatly enjoyed by fresher Jess) at a nearby pub, the disappointed Nomads squad hopped back in their vehicles for a long journey home, with democratically-selected DOD Glanfield threatening to refuse to drive anyone who voted for her. As was seen in last week’s match report, this report also ends on a cliffhanger as readers are invited to speculate as to whether or not Glanfield’s ‘disloyal’ passengers made it back down the A16 to Cambridge…
MOM – Hannah Brown
DOD – Sophie Glanfield (Strong late challenge from Freddie Hampel for filling with petrol without bringing any money and having to be rescued by another car)
10/10/15 Nomads 1-5 St Ives 1s
It was a normal Saturday morning in Cambridge, and Will was enjoying his Special K breakfast cereal whilst listening to Radio 2. He was just about to sit down to read through all his lecture notes from the week when the hockey ball on his desk suddenly began to flash.
“The distress signal! Someone must be in danger!” Will exclaimed, as he leapt up from his desk.
This could only mean one thing. There was trouble brewing at the Wilberfortress. Will sprung into action and wrenched the lever to open his secret behind-the-bookcase lair, revealing a gleaming yellow shirt.
“My super suit! Essential for concealing my secret identity whilst I fight umpire crime”. He pulled it on quickly, feeling immediately ready to save some damsels in distress.
Trapped in the Wilberfortress, 30 mildly concerned players looked up to the sky in hope…”Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s the Archibald-Eagle here to save the day!”.
Whistle at the ready, new level one qualification in hand, the Archibald-Eagle was just the umpire the Nomads needed.
We’d like to be able to say that the match had a happy ending, but sadly this wasn’t actually a fairy-tale.
Nevertheless, this story isn’t over yet. The Nomads wanted to thank their hero – “who was that mysterious umpire?” – but the Archibald-Eagle had already been called away to fight crimes against umpires elsewhere.
The identity of the mysterious umpire hero was discussed at length over teas, along with other important issues such as current affairs, IKEA opening hours and the astounding calorific content of a VK.
Having lost one match, Shears was keen to go out on a win, proposing a game of finish-food fives for an entire strawberry cheesecake (the calorific equivalent of 4.75 VKs). Some members of the team were less than keen but Sheario was adamant that it would be “fun” and that there was “no way you’d lose with 14 people”. As it would transpire, karma’s a bitch.
Back in Fitzwilliam College, having put his super suit on an eco-friendly mixed-wash cycle, Will contemplated his busy day. He knew he wouldn’t get the recognition he deserved for his heroism, but could sleep content in the knowledge that the Wilberfortress was safe for another day.
Tune in next time for another exciting instalment of “The Adventures of Archibald-Eagle”©, as our intrepid hero takes on his toughest challenge yet…
 Actually we’d already phoned Sam Grimshaw but he was sadly unavailable
MOM Cat Cox
DOD Lisa Sweering
(Match report credits to Cox, Shears and Frost).
03/10/15 Nomads 3-O Lindum 2s MOM Olivia Shears
Saturday. 8.45am. The fog lifted over Wilby to unveil a somewhat sleep team of intrepid Nomads ready to journey North to the wilderness of Lincoln. Drivers were allocated, Busted CDs had been dug out of the archive (noun: ɑː.kaɪv) and a managerial flamingo was appointed (#datflamingo)… and with that, they embarked on a journey of epic proportions.
Serious pace gainz were made down the A14, and arrival was achieved with time to spare… Freddie 1 – Nomads sleeping through alarms 0. An epic warm up ensued, spiced up with a little ‘commander says shoo the chickens’ just to keep things real and relevant, before the game commenced against a select 11 Lindum ladies. The Nomads had faith in their fitness from the start, knowing that this would just be a matter of biding time until the backboard could be sourced. However this proved to be somewhat more challenging in the first half than anticipated, with some solid possession being maintained but the goal proving elusive despite several shorts.
Half time arrived. Haribo’s were consumed. Hockey was discussed. The managerial flamingo looked on, unyielding. And with that it was back to the ready position for the round 2…
Composure was maintained and the second half was one that would be deemed satisfactory by the Easter bunny himself, with a whole 3 eggs finding their way into the basket. The first followed a somewhat rogue footwork routine from converted footballer Alan Sheario. Momentum picked up when some horridious (Wild Child; 2008) stick tackles were made and one of their players was given a green and had to learn the new rules the hard way! The second followed swiftly from the ultimate in anti-skill short corners, with a bouncy straight strike from Flic deflected neatly into the goal by Michelle. And not long after this, the final goal arrived from an incredibly chaotic attempt at a 16 from Lindum, which was intercepted by the eagle-eyed Flic and slotted neatly in the net.
The final whistle sounded, with the promo dreams of the Nomads still intact! Then a really cute guy-puppy combo appeared and hockey was momentarily forgotten as every member of the team strived to stroke it. Teas were somewhat reminiscent of Wilby’s brief foray into fast food, with pizza and chips being the order of the day, whilst copious amounts of DOD doughnuts were also supplied (some of you may be thinking, why do I care about the teas?! But let’s face it that’s 90% of the concern and pre-match chat in any away game!)
After a truly nomadic day out, the great voyage back to the Wilberfortress then commenced. And that’s where I’ll leave it… a massive cliffhanger as to whether we all made it back alive! Tune in next week to find out… #hockey #nomatchforthenomads #nomadbynamenomadbynature #promopursuit
Scorers – Sheario, Michelle, Flic
DOD – Frostie
26/09/15 Nomads 0-2 Cambridge Nomads 1s MOM Lydia Michaelides
N otable start to the season
O utstanding effort, giving us reason;
M an of the match, fresher Lydia – no less
A ttacking play strong; line balls for the pass
D efence game on point; short corners, charge!
S uperb first game – bring.it.on.
MOM Lydia Michaelides
DOD Nicola Wilde
19/09/15 Nomads 2-2 Wisbech 2s MOM Ceit Jesmont
We went to Wisbech.
Danger showers struck again
The game was a draw.
MOM Ceit Jesmont
DOD Michelle Teplensky
|Date||Match type||Opposition||Venue||PB Time||Score|
|20/09/14||League||St. Neots 1||A||1200||L 1-2|
|27/09/14||League||Cambridge Nomads 1||H||1200||L 3-2|
|04/10/14||League||Long Sutton 1||H||1200||L 3-2|
|11/10/14||League||Spalding 1||A||1400||L 8-0|
|18/10/14||League||City of Peterborough 1||H||1200||L 0-1|
|25/10/14||League||City of Peterborough 2||A||1100||W 3-0|
|01/11/14||League||Pelicans 1||H||1200||W 4-0|
|08/11/14||League||Wisbech Town 2||A||1230||W 4-0|
|15/11/14||League||Ely City 1||H||1200||W 2-0|
|22/11/14||League||Bourne Deeping 1||A||1400||W 1-0|
|29/11/14||League||Alford & District 1||H||1200||L 0-1|
|18/01/15||League||Cambridge Nomads 1||A||1100||W 1-0|
|24/01/15||League||Spalding 1||H||1200||L 2-3|
|25/01/15||League||St. Neots 1||H||1130||W 2-1|
|07/02/15||League||City of Peterborough 2||H||1200||W 3-2|
|14/02/15||League||Pelicans 1||A||1330||W 3-2|
|21/02/15||League||Long Sutton 1||A||1300||D 2-2|
|28/02/15||League||Wisbech Town 2||H||1200||W 3-0|
|01/03/15||League||City of Peterborough 1||A||W 3-2|
|07/03/15||League||Ely City 1||A||1200||W 3-1|
|14/03/15||League||Bourne Deeping 1||H||1200||W 4-2|
|21/03/15||League||Alford & District 1||A||1230||–|
2014/15 Match Reports
NINA: O that we now had here
But five of those Nomads in Cambridge
That do “work” today!
Steph the Impaler: What’s she that wishes so?
My other self Nina? No, you silly Denglish girl;
If we are mark’d to loose, we are enough
To do our CUHC loss; and if to win,
The fewer women, the greater share of honour.
God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one woman more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for firsts,
Nor care I who doth choose me for fantasy league;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my other self, wish not a player from Cambridge.
God’s peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one woman more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Nina, through my host,
That she which hath no stomach to this game,
Let her depart; her zipcar shall be sought,
And pounds for petrol put into her purse;
We would not play in that woman’s company
That fears her fellowship to play with us.
This day is call’d the feast of David.
She that wins this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d,
And rouse her at the name of David.
She that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil buy a round for CUHC,
And say ‘To-morrow is Saint David.’
Then will she strip her glove and show her knuckle scars,
And say ‘These wounds I had on David’s day.’
Old women forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But she’ll remember, with advantages,
What feats she did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in her mouth as household words-
Harriet the homewreaker, Beans and Durrans,
Whitely and Young, Shears and Chidgey-
Be in their tomahawks freshly rememb’red.
This story shall the good woman teach the freshers;
And David’s day shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of sisters;
For she to-day that sheds her blood with me
Shall be my sister; be she ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle her condition;
And Nomads in Cambridge now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their womanhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That played with us upon Saint David’s day.
MOM Alice Durrans
DOD Rosie Coombe
28/02/15 Nomads 3-0 Wisbech Town 2s
Beekeeper, explorer, poo-pumper, granny jumper wearer. In true admiration of Big Willy, the Nomads began the day in an excellent array of granny jumpers. Although a little slow from the start the Nomads picked up play against Wisbech and were 2-0 up by half time, winning a penalty corner as the whistle blew. However, Steph seemed somewhat confused by the rules, receiving the ball within the dotted line and calling for the whistle despite having possession.. (DOD worthy..) Advice to ‘play the easy pass’ from Steph and the excellent manager Sheario at half time led to another successful half. A great deflection came from Willis from a short corner struck by Molly.
Nomads came away with a resounding 3-0 victory over an angry Wisbech side. Perhaps their match report may not be quite as complementary as Long Suttons..
The win was topped off with delicious banana bread (courtesy of Big Willy) and great support, and chocolate, from the birthday boy Robert who is quickly becoming a Nomads favourite.
MOM Liv Heininger
DOD Harriet Moore
14/02/15 Nomads 3-2 Pelicans 1s
The day started well for the Nomadic majority… except maybe for Michelle who left her stick in the lab and for Steph who underestimated how long it would take to bake a banana bread. 3 cars departed for North Norfolk and crucially no one (Frostie) was left behind. No doubt, the highlight of everyone’s journey were the car readings of Grae Grae’s words of wisdom. Once arrived, the changing room chat broached the subject of V day, which turned out to be quite enlightening. Beans spilled the beans and hence I am writing this report. The match started and our heads just weren’t in the right place; we quickly found ourselves 2-0 down. Things were starting to crumble and team moral was a low point. But then… Stacker did something magical. Restarting quickly from a free hit, Molly ran it to the top of the D (skilling countless players) and smacked it into the back board- deservedly bagging her MOM. No way was she losing this match. It was exactly what we all needed. Then followed a come-back like no other. Michelle pulled off a magnificently elegant reverse sweep followed by a second textbook goal played around the keeper. Every goal felt so great, and every Nomad erupted in excitement. As the match drew to a close, the Pelicans were keen to equalise. Salty made some cracking saves and we held off the pressure. The transfer, leading and the chat were all on form. Just magical stuff with every Nomad giving their all. As the final whistle blew, like last week, a few of us were unsure of the score. But it didn’t matter cause we WON!! The day was nicely finished off with a pasty, baked beans, Salty’s delicious flapjacks, and Sainsbury’s doughnuts- quickly becoming a Nomad classic. Such a brilliant fantastic amazing (my words aren’t doing it justice) team effort and perfect prep for Varsity, Captain Willis glowed with pride. The Nomads drove home SO happy. Whoever said we lacked #mentalstrength? Every Nomad proved on Saturday that they have a true #lionheart. Such a cracking day
MOM – Molly Buxton
DOD – Emma Farmery
07/02/15 Nomads 3-2 City of Peterborough 2s
In the first match where we all actually had kit, the Nomads got a good 3-2 win against Peterborough (even if Steph was momentarily convinced we had drawn). The first goal was scored within 2 minutes of the beginning of the match, by Shears lifting the ball past the keeper.
Steph went for a flair reverse hit, but unfortunately it was going wide. Michelle managed to do an amazing pick to make sure the ball found the backboard and get her first goal. Her second came a bit later, where she flicked the ball over the goalie to secure our lead.
The match report would not be complete without mentioning the slightly embarrassing conversation Steph had with the opposition goalie who had recently moved clubs from Spalding (‘Did you leave because they weren’t very nice’ ‘Erm…no’)- something which was surely deserving of DoD.
MOM – Michelle Teplensky
DOD – Felicity Holmes
25/01/15 Nomads 2-1 St Neots 1s
A one man wonder. They say there is no ‘i’ in team but there is an ‘a’, and that ‘a’ is for Alice. A member of what can only be described as the Hadrian’s Wall of CUHC (the imperishable Nomadic defensive line), she scored the rebound that not only kicked off a glorious win but kicked off Miss Durrans’ calling as CUHC’s top goal scorer by the close of the 2015 season.
Not only does she score on the pitch, she scores off the pitch, winning the affection of a young fresher who on nominating the Man of the Match, drew a heart next to Alice’s name: is this the beginnings of a cult for the up-and-coming breadwinner?
This game was indeed a Call to Arms. After a heart-wrenchingly-stomach-churningly intense game on the previous day, the Nomads, with the valour of knights and with light blue blazed across their chests, rode out on their Crusade. Alas, here on the bloody and brutal field at Wilberfortress, they found their Jerusalem, and victory was theirs, the final blow dealt by Lisa with a fiery top left sweep into the net.
I have seen hockey balls fly as high as the angels that watch over Wilberfortress and I have seen women ferociously flat tackle like a broadsword to a Radical enemy: with exactly a month to go to varsity on the very same day as this sacred win, the portents forebode an impassioned contest come the 22nd February 2015. But a challenge that the Nomads will vanquish in the name of CUHC.
MOM: Molly Buxton
DOD: Rosie Coombe
22/11/14 Nomads 1-0 Bourne Deeping 1s
The Nomads travelled to Peterborough to play Bourne Deeping, arriving (for the first time this season) ahead of schedule. Steph decided to use this excess time wisely, going to the nearest petrol station to buy chocolate fingers. After a full team rendition of ‘Shine Jesus Shine’, we headed off towards the pitch. The warm up routine took on a new look this week, meaning that we both managed to get lost during it, and left behind Emma.
The match itself was reasonably successful, with us winning 1-0. The goal was scored by Steph from a brilliant Bolivia corner in the first half, and Frostie earned MoM with her slick skills. There were some really good passages of play, and many more opportunities to score, but there was an unfortunate tendency to shoot straight at the keepers pads.
Post-match showering seemed to take longer than some team members (Beans) wanted, with only 5 showers out of an apparent 10 actually being used at any one time. By the time we set off for teas, the other team had completely disappeared- but luckily Emma had managed to get directions before they went. It must be mentioned, however, that a miscommunication led us all to try and find ‘The ___ Peasant’, which turned out to be much more sensibly named ‘The Golden Pheasant’. Teas were good, but portion size was unfortunately disappointing. After filling up on chocolate fingers, flapjack, cake, and cookies, the Nomads headed back, content with carrying on our winning streak.
MOM – Charlotte Frost
DOD – Felicity Holmes
8/11/14 Nomads 4-0 Wisbech Town 2s
Zipcar’s Cambridge HQ customer liaison skills were undoubtedly put to the test with the appearance of an angry Alice Durrans at 9.30am on Saturday morning. Reports suggest that some sort of “F*ing nightmare with these f*ing zipcars” had resulted in an un-unlockable zipcar, several taxi transfers across Cambridge and both over-the-phone and over-the-desk arguments with the reception lady. (N.B. All accounts indicate that this was a very one sided argument, in which Durrans was very scary (obviously), and reception lady very submissive.)
Back at the Wilberfortress, tensions were rising. All freshers may have been present and correct, but the absence of the PR Guru-Social Ringleader was beginning to worry Steph. Every car driving round the corner brought hope, only to be dashed as the driver was revealed to be male or with child. Then, squealing round the bend into Wilby, in what can only be described as a move akin to The Stig cornering hammerhead, came Durrans, almost on two wheels, windows open and bass blaring.
With The Stig’s zipcar reluctantly filled with passengers – “Don’t you dare drive like that with me in there” – the Nomad convoy set off for the Fens at a substantial pace. With an unbelievable acceleration between 1st and 2nd, the little zip ‘burning up’ every surrounding vehicle (and a ton of petrol) and the build-up tunes booming, the Nomads arrived at Wisbech highly fired up.
Graeme’s team talk was relayed by Steph (sadly not in his voice – calls for a charged Ipad and video message abounded) in some very dubious changing rooms, the wooden bar stools evidently an attempt at minimalist design. The Nomads went out strong from the starting whistle, creating chances and managing to get a transfer going on perhaps the muddiest (and wettest) pitch in the whole of the East League.
Steph scored. Then Sheario scored – a long-awaited goal, finally ending her too-many-weeks-long goal drought. Almost everyone slid over. Particularly commendable efforts include Michelle – sliding off the sideline with ball, Shears – decking it when dribbling with nobody anywhere near, Alice J – getting winded and of course, Stacker herself. Even a Wisbech spectator fell over. Claims that this was due to Sheario rolling the ball under his feet are unsubstantiated. More likely that everyone just wanted her to write the match report. With Family Buxton and loyal Nomad mascots Sue and TJ looking on, some bits of really good hockey were played. Beans scored. Then Steph scored again with a beautifully lifted first-time sweep from a beautifully weighted cross from Lisa (fantasy managers may wish to take note of the huge goal scoring form displayed by Steph ‘the impaler’ Willis of late #bigwilly).
With another 4-0 win in the bag, the Nomads headed expectantly for teas. After much deliberation, the “danger showers” (Frostie, 2014) were avoided by all. Teas were much more successful than expected. There were doughnuts, Molly’s mum did very well on the tray bake, Steph ate 4 pork rolls, Frostie ate the meat out of 4 pork rolls and Alice J enjoyed her first battenberg cake experience. Feeling content, the Nomads headed back to Cambridge.
From danger showers to Danger Spoons – the evening’s initiations saw the Nomad freshers fare considerably better than some others. Several of the night’s questions remain unanswered. Do pigs have whiskers? Do Spoons clean the sofas? Sophie showed that she has the potential to challenge for the title of ‘sassy fresher’, bundling Durrans to the ground having just straight-armed a can of baked beans. Flic, Harriet, Molly and Amy all made it to the haven of the spoons d-floor, where some serious shapes where thrown. Alice J wins particular praise for being the last fresher standing. Special mention also goes to Cat Cox, who backed up bold CUHC profile claims of being a fungrad. Excellent form was shown by all CUHC members present. But, with no goals conceded and a cumulative 13 scored across the Bedouin, Nomads and Blues this weekend, it really is beginning to look like it is, as suspected, #allaboutCUWHC.
MOM – Alice Durrans
DOD – Olivia Shears
8/11/14 Nomads 4-0 Pelicans 1s
When the Nomads turned up to Wilberforce on Saturday, they were met with perfect autumnal weather and fortunately the hockey played mimicked these conditions- crisp, sharp and bright.
There were smiles all round as we managed to replicate last week’s result against a top side in the league, slotting not one goal but four past their increasingly mouthy defenders.
Both teams took some hits, one unfortunate knock leading to the game being stopped for 20 mins and an ambulance being called (and perhaps most unfortunately me having to take on this match report). But we didn’t let this distract us and some great distribution from the defence, excellent movement and solid linking play from the midfielder, and fierce, goal-hungry attacking meant we dominated for the full 70 minutes, rarely looking like conceding, except for a few sometimes dubious short corner calls (Alice, none of us thought your foot was on the line).
May this run of successes continue, the Nomads are definitely looking like a team to watch!
MOM – Steph Willis
DOD – Molly Buxton
25/10/14 Nomads 3-0 City of Peterborough 2s
Although the 8.45am meet proved to be a slight challenge for some of the freshers, most of the Nomads turned up (with over 50% on time) on Saturday to play the second team of the City of Peterborough.
Despite featuring an outrageous number of 5 geographers in the team, Peterborough’s sneaky tactic of not playing the match at ‘their usual pitch’ (local resident Shears) managed catch one car out. The resulting exchange of smug “We’re in the changing room” / “So are we?” texts revealed the team to be split over two separate changing rooms at two different pitches, a logistical nightmare for even the most Nomadic. Juliet was devastated to find that the teas she had spied were not to be ours. Sat-Nav saved the day and several roundabouts later, the team was reunited and ready to go.
The Nomads went out hard, playing the ball round Peterborough and looking dangerous in attack. Ceit cracked the ball into the D, Michelle got a little touch on its way towards the backboard, so ‘unbelievably’ little, in fact, that the goal was not given. Disastrous for several fantasy managers, Ceit got a bit cross and got carded, despite intense pleas and sucking up to the umpire. An unlikely bond developed between the two throughout the match, undoubtedly encouraged by Ceit’s complimentary attitude towards umpire attire which included gems such as “You’re a bit like the sunshine”.
The Nomads continued to pressure Peterborough’s defence. Lisa converted the first short corner with a tap in from left post. With the transfer slick and forward leading smooth, more goals were sure to come. Another short corner resulted in a goal from Flic on far post (note unbelievable success of Nomad short corners, even without the famed ‘Antarctica’ and ‘Straya’ of old). Flic found the backboard again with a highly creative shot intended to fool the keeper with its exceptionally slow pace. Fresher Molly’s dubious Instagram hashtag creation (#flicsgoal #youcouldhearthebackboardfromCambridge) perhaps even provides a rival to those devised by the exceptionally hashtag keen S-Dawg Ladley.
All in all, a good week for the Nomads. We won 3-0. Josephine touched the ball “a couple” of times. Amy had “actually been” to a practical, which presumably means that she has now located her department (no, she’s not a fresher). Juliet was delighted to hear that we were heading back to the ‘usual pitch’ for teas, which were highly satisfactory. Most importantly, Steph didn’t have to tell Graeme that we’d lost again.
MOM – Flic Holmes
DOD – Alice Jones
18/10/14 Nomads 0-1 City of Peterborough 1s
In perfect autumn conditions the Nomads took on Peterborough 1’s in a game that their toughest challenge yet. Spurred on by the heavy defeat of last week the team rose to meet the challenge in style. The defensive line up inspired players and the crowd alike with their transfer skills and Captain Willis’ role in the back line added extra excitement. Harriet Moore made her debut as fullback and sources close to Moore say she was ‘elated’ to be awarded MoM.
Attacking play incorporated some creative short corner routines which although did not result in goals looks promising for the season. A questionable geographical naming system was suggested to be some what responsible.
Despite having the majority of possession and looking the more threatening team there was a tiny hiccup. Namely them scoring on the break late into the second half. The Nomads stepped up the intensity again and were unlucky not to score an equaliser. The team look to be in a strong position to go forward, a “cracking effort” this week (Willis) with “great hockey” (Coombe).
MOM – Harriet Moore
DOD – Amy Welch
11/10/14 Nomads 0-7 Spalding 1s
There were 7 goals, none of which were scored by us.
More importantly though, they had baked potatoes with beans, cheese AND coleslaw for teas – an excellent result. Freddie also performed well in her role as DoD, following up with a millionaire’s shortbread which showcased excellent constituent parts (caramel, chocolate and biscuit base) but didn’t quite manage to bring them all together into the cohesive manner expected. Nonetheless, a scrumptious outcome.
MOM – Rosie Coombes
DOD – Olivia Heininger
04/10/14 Nomads 2-3 Long Sutton 1s
The Nomads sadly suffered another close defeat to Long Sutton on Saturday, losing out by one goal in less than perfect autumn conditions.
The rain set in, right on queue, at 12pm but the wet didn’t dampen spirits as the Nomads exerted early dominance over the opposition. Two goals in the early minutes of the first half by Cat Cox and a short corner deflection off captain Steph (wet) Willis’ hit and it looked as though it was going to be an easy one; the win was all but secured. A breakaway goal by Long Sutton took the score to 2-1 at half time.
In a seemingly familiar situation, there was enthusiasm and encouragement in the dugout, and the Nomads were determined that today would not be another day of succumbing to our mental weakness and losing by one goal. Unfortunately the level of play on our front dropped momentarily, somehow allowing another 2 goals form Long sutton’s high pressing forwards. However the game was far from over and severe pressure was exerted by the nomads in the oppositions 23 for the last 20 mins of the game, but the goal never quite came, leaving the scoreline at a disappointing 2-3. With Grahame on the sideline, the last section of play flagged our mental rigidity, but the final whistle just came too soon. Promises of greatness to come.
MOM – Cat Cox
DOD – Freddie Hampel
27/09/14 Nomads 2-3 Cambridge Nomad 1s
Nomads (town) 3 – 2 Nomads (gown)
It was a pleasant sunny Saturday when 22 Nomads (and not a player more #preseasonproblems) took to the turf to battle it out at the Wilberfortress for the Nomad name. The true Nomads started off in style… even the opposition described us as ‘fit, fast and organized’ and all over them ‘like a rash’ (courtesy of their match report) however the townies took the first goal following a lucky break.
However we were not to be beaten easily and bounced straight back, with Beans making her mark on both the score sheet and an unfortunate defenders neck with a quite spectacular follow through. Some good possession hockey followed but another unfortunate break saw the visitors go 2-1 up. This breach in our defence was swiftly countered by rallying a goal straight back at them as Ceit carefully bounced the ball into the D to be flicked off Flic’s stick to find the back of the net.
Once again the score was levelled and there was all to play for, and some heated hockey ensued which saw one of the pink Nomads receive a yellow. But as both the literal and metaphorical heat built and the sunburn set in, an unfortunately placed blue foot saw the town team awarded a penalty flick, which they quickly converted. The gowns fought back valiantly, winning several shorts and seeing a near miss (albeit of a somewhat open goal!) by captain Voel (wet) Willis, but unfortunately it was not to be and the game finished 3-2.
Despite losing the battle, history dictates that when the time comes, the Nomads will go on to win the war.
MOMs- Emma Farmery/Rosie Coombe
DOD- Charlotte Frost
20/09/14 Nomads 1-2 St Neots 1s
This Saturday the Nomads travelled the delightfully short distance to St.Neots. After a year of marathon drives past the Elvedon war memorial it was a shock to arrive at our destination only 30 minutes after leaving Cambridge. This may also have had something to do with my contentment at being behind the wheel of a Ford van once again.
Hopes were high in the changing rooms despite the fact that the team had played very little together. Preston’s much-criticised ‘safe ball’ mantra was repeated, safe in the knowledge that those who had so hounded him were unlikely to be in St.Neots that morning.
In a perhaps DOD worthy show of incompetence I had failed to bring any balls to warm up with and so had to both beg and steal some off the opposition.
Big tackles from the Nomads defence prevented the opposition from capitalising on some initial confusion in our press and Cat Cox showed some cracking dribbling tekkers to break back and get into their D. Her valiant attempt at a reverse shot didn’t quite come off and so she drew on her 4th year wisdom and calmy placed the ball on a defender’s foot. Her first straight strike attempt for CUHC hit the backboard with a resounding thud and we took an early lead. Later in the half a bit of miscommunicated marking led to the opposition slotting in another breakaway goal.
In the second half we struggled to get the ball safely up the pitch despite good transferring between the back four. Tired legs meant that St.Neots scored another breakaway goal which we failed to match making the final score 2-1.
After some dubious attempts to shower fully clothed by Hannah and Emma and after a very very slow bit of dressing by Frostie we set off to find teas. In a show of remarkably good organisation by the opposition we had been given directions cards explaining how to make the journey, which turned out to be about as long as the one we had made to get to St.Neots from Cambridge. Despite the good directions, Cat’s car arrived about 20 minutes after the van, a fact which cannot be attributed to the speed and agility of the van in question. In an attempt to spice up Josephine’s curry I added a little tea to it with a slight of hand that was not appreciated by the rest of the team and so I am writing this now. On departure from the pub we were stopped by an angry waitress who demanded that we pay for our food. Slightly taken aback by an request not unreasonable in other circumstances, we tried, with some difficulty, to explain why it was that we should not be the ones paying. We were finally released after I had supplied extensive contact details and so we left, grumbling about the behaviour of an opposition who had failed
MOM- Emma Farmery,
DOD- Steph Willis
And so arrived another Saturday, bringing with it further adventures for the Funmads. Up against the bottom of the league, on paper it was all plain sailing… however the team was in jeopardy from the start, with the small issue of getting there having been somewhat overlooked throughout the week. Friday night, and the Nomads found themselves with 4 cars but only 3 drivers, a ratio that any competent mathmo could identify as inadequate for such an exploit. Luckily Bex stepped up to the plate, and all systems were go again.
The morning of the match and cars began arriving sporadically to pick up the team from Wilby… 3 car loads were safely shipped off, but the arrival of Steph in the fourth car became somewhat disputed, and given that GK Josephine was still stranded at Wilby this could have spelled disaster (perhaps goalies should be given car queue jump in the future?!).
With 4 cars eventually on the road to the far North, which evidently turned out to be not North at all (and hence why I find myself writing this!), the journey went as smoothly as could be expected from a team of Nomads… there was only one minor detour to the lesser known sporting establishment affectionately known as PC World, but this was quickly rectified by the superior intellect of the team in being able to distinguish man from machine. Finally the actual pitch was located after journeying through a somewhat “human centipede-esque” forest, boasting itself to be a water base but in reality what was probably more akin to soggy sea anemone.
Warm up ensued, with a pre-match rendition of the Lion King’s “I just can’t wait to be King”. Some hockey was played. Steph got angry. Claire scored 2 goals. “Straya” proved effective yet again. Lily gave the team the ultimatum of “stop it or wear it” (several balls were henceforth worn!).
The final whistle was blown… they’d scored 1, we’d scored 2. Statistical analysis = 3 points for the Nomads. Now the team could move on to the most important part of the day… match teas!
Encountering a somewhat cryptic changing room system, showering was achieved by those able to successfully identify the yellow door (we didn’t make it to Cambridge for nothing!). Thankfully no issues with colour blindness were encountered. Match teas yielded an exciting concoction of rice, beans, sausage and cheese, followed by the inaugural DOD cake. This week’s offering was provided by Alice, incorporating the talents of sue chef “Lily’s sister”. Not only this, but a certain dessert snake’s birthday was also being celebrated, yielding further cakey tributes and an X-factor worthy performance of “Happy Birthday to Flora”.
And so as the sun set, the Nomads prepared to journey home. However Bex had already taken this initiative and done a runner with one car and a keeper kit, leaving yet another numerical dilemma… 15 people, 3 cars? Maths shone through again, and everyone took their places for the homeward commute past old friend Elveden war memorial.
TLDR: There was food. There were cars (just!). There was hockey. 3 points were won. 2 cakes were eaten. 1 team of Funmads dominated yet again.
MOM = Cat and Claire
DOD = Frostie
No hashtags were harmed in the writing of this report.
16/11/13 Cambridge University Nomads vs North Walsham (2-3)
North Walsham are clearly colour blind
Dark blue is definitely not pink
Anyway, ‘Lets get this shit on the road’,
The nomads chant,
Or maybe it was just me,
No cautioning from the ump this week
But the oppo did get a green, eek
Our bench was thoroughly warmed
With enough players to field another team
We started strong but conceded early
Own goal, but credit for a good deflection
Got back with the trusty short:
STRAYA… The nomads thought
1 all was the result
But failing to hold on
A quick break left us down 2-1 at half time
Second half we came out strong,
Dominating the game
A well executed Bolivia
To Beth, not olivia
Left us in ecstasy at an equaliser
2 all with 17 minutes to go
Can we get the three points we deserve?
Unfortunately a sneaky goal by the oppo left us 3-2 down
After a million chances we couldn’t pull it back
Although, I still believe we drew
Probably why I write this now
Score: 3-2 to north walsham
02/11/13 Cambridge University Nomads vs Sprowston (5-0)
Today we were home, no journey to the sea,
We began with our team talk, chapter by chapter,
Then headed out to the pitch, hoping for a win
To add to the double birthday celebrations
Of Hettie and Cat.
5 goals were glorious, there could have been more,
But solid defence restricted them to none,
Our transfer developed to maintain our lead
And with wise words from the sideline
We continued to dominate.
Keeping possession and rolling out strong
We looked the better team,
Now just to hold on.
Having been told to drive for the D
And make leads high and wide,
The Nomads worked together
To play as a side.
26/10/13 Cambridge University Nomads vs Panthers (2-2)
AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM
Australians all let us rejoice,
For we are young and free;
We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil;
Our home is girt by sea;
Our land abounds in nature’s gifts
Of beauty rich and rare;
In history’s page, let every stage
Advance Australia Fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia Fair.
Beneath our radiant Southern Cross
We’ll toil with hearts and hands;
To make this Commonwealth of ours
Renowned of all the lands;
For those who’ve come across the seas
We’ve boundless plains to share;
With courage let us all combine
To Advance Australia Fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia Fair.
THE NOMADS TRIBAL ANTHEM
Nomads, all let us rejoice,
For Sally’s 12 second victory;
With sandy soil and gulls we toil;
Their home is Sheringham by sea;
Land first abandoned, the nomads lift
Their hockey sticks and show flair;
Despite challenging umps, we remained pumped
Advance Nomads to dare.
Their short to make half-time a draw,
Advance Nomads to dare.
Poor tackling from Nomads made us Cross
Applause from panthers’ fans;
Their second goal then left us in
Reliable “Straya”’s hands;
For those who trekked up to the sea,
An equaliser which we must share;
Rewarded with monotone pub teas
Advance Nomads to dare.
With balls on heads and walks into trees,
Advance Nomads to dare.
To Wilberfortress both Nomads came,
With them sitting top, was sure to be a tough game.
Early on we were blessed with a short,
Claire and ‘STRAYA’ gave us one-nought.
Expansive play we delivered,
Some hairy transfers round the back, Graeme quivered.
Josephine earned her dinner,
The sitting save was a particular winner.
Naughty play gave them two greens and a yellow,
We exploited, as they had to mellow.
With the opposition becoming frustrated,
Cat Cox found the backboard, we were elated.
They made a comeback with a runaway goal
Undeterred we played as a team, played as a whole.
A sublime performance from Sally earned her MoM,
A well deserved victory, Uni Nomads felt like the bomb.
12/10/13 Cambridge University Nomads vs Yarmouth (0-1)
With the prospects of the zoo, surfing and a beach trip, the Nomads made the day long trek to Great Yarmouth. 5hours later and after road closures and detours (subsequently finding Trinity Crescent, Gonville Place and Kings Road) we arrived at a supposed pitch – that we took time to rebuild during warm up.
Push back happened. The first half happened. Cat was everywhere. They got tired and grumpy. Then the transfers (note PLURAL) kicked in – Graeme’s merry men put to work what they learnt in training over the week. After a decent amount of possession (and questionable umpiring) Yarmouth were awarded with several shorts – one of which was expertly driven off the back foot by Miss Jordan in a cricket like fashion.
Half time happened. 0-0 happened aka nothing happened. The Nomads bounded back onto the pitch with Bambi-like grace, only for both teams to be awarded with the “pipe down” card. More transfers were complimented by some excellent saves from our MoM. The Nomads came close to equalising with two “Straya” corners – the apparent correct pronunciation of “Australia” from a native. However play remained within 5m for literally 5minutes with the grand(eur) of our Irish defender keeping them away from the circle.
To our confusion, several shorts were awarded and a front of goal scramble ended in a 1-0 deficit. Despite their fatigue and our domination, the match finished in an undeserved defeat – followed by a picnic-style match tea complete with Brussles pate. Claire and Lauren decided to channel their anger by smashing teacakes on their foreheads. After unintentional detours (Graeme) and stellar performances from Sally and Liv F the Nomads hiked back to Wilberfortress. Only satisfied in the knowledge that Lauren cannot work a shower, and that her baking skills will be put to the GBBO test next weekend.
MoM Josephine SW
05/10/13 Cambridge University Nomads vs Watton (0-4)
This week saw the Nomads take to the #Wilberfortress in search of the first much-coveted three points of the season. The team sheet as fluid as the pass-and-move hockey Graeme and Rory hope to see us playing, we had another line-up full of new faces. The absence of Abi J and Annabel was a knife through the hearts of the old Nomads; luckily El-Dawg (an “antique” [Frost, 2013]) was still around to remind the young whippersnappers who’s boss. Cat thought she had the stats down – then Ellen asked one question too many and her carefully constructed facade of organisation crumbled. Thus, the Nomads were forced to proceed with the warm-up without the potentially game-changing statistic of where Watton finished in the table last year. Cat was pooed on during the warm-up jog – by a bird (not a dog), Frostie, a bird. Everyone was quick to reassure Cat that this was in fact good luck. Cat remained unconvinced as she attempted to wipe excrement from her socks. In other news, Hettie seemed to have taken to her role as ULO with such enthusiasm that three umpires turned up. Much awkwardness abounded; eventually, one was sent packing. Terrible scenes.
The alleged good luck that the pooping bird portended was nowhere to be seen as the match got underway. Some of the passing was a little shoddy, with the Nomads apparently choosing to ignore Graeme’s advice about making the safe pass. In retrospect, this was quite a poor collective decision. Unfortunately for the Nomads, Watton’s players were of a better standard than their kit (an interesting yellow and blue combo). A green card was awarded to one of their players for a cynical double-team barge on a wholly innocent Cat. By half time, the score was 2 nil to Watton, despite some better play from the Nomads towards the end of the half. In the second half, the defence continued to remain solid despite continued pressure from Watton, but the attacking play never quite came together for the Nomads. A continuing insistence on running into Watton players hindered any chance the Nomads might have had of drawing level. Even a cameo appearance from the woman, the legend, Hannah Darcy cheering from the sideline could not help the Nomads find the back of the net. The final score was a thoroughly disappointing 4-0 to Watton. Graeme looked sad.
The match tea was hindered by the lack of Nomads in attendance. Apparently the stairway in Wilby is akin to the Bermuda Triangle: several team members simply disappeared after leaving the changing room, never making it to try the wondrous #Wilberfortress lasagne. Rumors of alien abduction were rife. It was, however, their loss, as they were not able to sample any of Steph’s brownie/cheesecake masterpiece. The instigator of the newly founded DOD tray-bake tradition, Annabel, was tragically absent for its inaugural celebration. Hettie was awarded MOM for a great performance in her debut for the Nomads. Somehow, she managed to escape DOD despite the three umpire fiasco, and Cat was dubiously given the honour for forgetting a certain undergarment to change into after showers (full credit to Ellen for treacherously telling the whole team, in clear violation of the unwritten rule, What happens in showering club, stays in showering club). Some might suggest that Cat was given DOD merely due to her talent for writing match reports. Such claims unsubstantiated.
28/09/13 Cambridge University Nomads vs Norwich Dragons 2s (1-2)
The Nomads first away match of the season saw us venturing into unchartered waters. The promotions and demotions into and out of our league have apparently left far too many teams in the same area and so we have been shunted eastwards towards the Norfolk coast. As such a fleet of cars and a Land Rover Defender left fortress wilby unreasonably early for an 11.30 push back. After a little more name learning, Graeme gave the still rather unfamiliar team some wise words and focus for the game.
With 3 subs on the bench, the Nomads kept up a good work rate in the first half. The forwards made some well-timed runs to allow the defence to get the ball around the opposition’s tight press. The not yet entirely familiar Nomads’ defence and midfield struggled slightly with organization in our own 25, occasionaly leaving a man unmarked near the D. A spectacular save by Margaret meant that a hard fought first half ended 0-0.
Half time gave the Nomads the opportunity to stock up on some much needed Haribo while Graeme gave us some good advise on how to better work the ball out of defence and how to stretch the pitch more effectively.
The beginning of the second half saw better use of the wings and some lovely passing play on the attack. Some good runs by Cat and Annabel resulted in a short corner and several good attempts at goal. After some sustained pressure in their D, Annabel slipped a lovely ball in past the keeper to make the score 1-0. The Dragons fought back quickly and put a lot of pressure on the Nomad’s defence. A very tight press made it hard for the Nomads to move the ball out of our own half and eventually a ball meant for the switch was intercepted by the one of the Norwich attackers, who slotted the ball into the goal before the defence could recover. At one all, the ball moved quickly from one end to the other with both teams having chances. Norwich managed get a break and, with few defenders in the Nomads’ D, scored an all too easy goal. Despite a determined effort, the Nomads were left with too little time to equalize before the final whistle blew.
As Claire predicted, the rather swish club house proved too good to last and sandwich teas were a big disappointment to a team who really only wanted some chips. Cat, having sorted out the DOD/MOM voting system, was deservedly voted man of the match after some great play. Steph ended up DOD, mainly due to her inability to understand the rules of fives but initially due to some questionable warm up remarks about childhood ambitions.
(Olivia Shears goal-scorer)
The first match of the season saw a very new-look Nomads take to the pitch (i.e. the team consisted of anyone and everyone who was available from preseason). But the inundation of new team members wasn’t going to stop the Nomads from executing their customarily flair hockey [flair (noun): 1. A natural talent or aptitude; a knack. 2. Instinctive discernment; keenness 3. Distinctive stylishness or elegance; dash.]
Well, once we had learnt everyone’s names. Two new ‘Olivia’s to add to the returning Liv Fitz-G provides potential for confusion – and thus the competition to conjure up some innovative nicknames is launched [all suggestions welcome at ]. The presence of Nomads stalwarts [combined age 64] Ellen (close enough to being a doctor to flaunt her medical mojo and examine Bex’s mysterious ear bruise) and Abi J (some say that she was born in 1983) added gravitas to the line-up.
The Nomads went 1 nil down in the first half, reflecting a bit of inconsistent passing and general newbie-ness. Flashes of good attacking work proved fruitless. Some wise words (provided by Graeme, not Cat) at half time helped to galvanise the troops, as did the jelly-babies and haribo (strong choice of half-time sweets, provided by Cat, not Graeme). There was some really nice play in the second half, as the team took Graeme’s words on board and the quality of the passing improved. This was rewarded with a goal from Olivia Shears. In particular, the movement of the ball out of defence into midfield looked very promising. Some determined defending, and a press as solid as T’s love for #GBBO helped to keep the score even despite some pressure from the opposition. The final ten minutes saw the Nomads falter, with fatigue setting in (evidently too many people sacking off the fitness-filled nightmare that was the first 10 days of preseason, courtesy of Asif AKA As IF we are doing more running AKA Aslan). Possession proved hard to come by and the game ended with no more goals. For the first match of the season, it was a good result, with many of the new faces putting in solid performances. Lots of positives and lots to work on for the next few weeks [insert more clichés here].
After the match, there was disappointment all round as Annabel was initiated into the showering club sans Abi J and Ellen. Luckily, the match teas – consisting of the Wilby classic, lasagne with customarily al dente garlic bread – proved a hit. MOM and DOD were decided in spite of the hash made of the napkin voting folding system. Cat justifiably received DOD for her inability to tell the freshers what time training is at, beating Bex (nominated for falling over a lot) and Annabel (nominated for reasons which never quite became clear).
MOM: Abi J, Claire
On a cold, wet Saturday morning a strong Nomads squad of 15 headed to Wilby with one thing on their mind: Christmas Dinner the next night. But in all seriousness, we were actually extremely focused, despite starting the game slightly sceptical of our new tactics, which saw our forwards rarely leaving the D. It didn’t take long for the haters to be proved wrong, as the pitch seemed to almost double in size and the goals came. Everyone made the most of our 4 subs, working hard and tirelessly before taking a break, which meant we always had 6 fresh legs up front. The score at half time (2-2) didn’t reflect the flow of play and the Nomads were determined to make their new tactics work for them and come away with a win. This determination showed itself in the second half in the form of 3 goals in quick succession. Our defense remained as solid as ever and made sure that the opposition rarely got a chance on goal. Overall it was a great performance from the Nomads which has given us confidence to shake things up a bit every now and again. Talking of shaking things up….Sunday night saw CUHC head to Wilby after hours for the single biggest social event of the year: Christmas Dinner. The sparkly frocks were out, the alcohol was flooooooowing ( all over Ellie’s dress, oopsieeees), and Frosty was getting her snog/grind/dryhumpagainstawall on. Sadly this is just about all I, and, I believe/hope, the rest of the team remember of the night but photos speak louder than words and we seem to be having a FAB time with plenty of christmas cheer. Deutsche bank official funnest team of the term we may not be(suuuuuure), but we certainly know how to pull off moustaches. My personal MOM of the night goes to Ellen, whose comeback to the social scene of the club saw her save Ellie’s red wine stained dress before taking herself down to the point where she fell off her bike and took herself home. And my DOD is a tough one, between Ellie, who lost her 21st present fellow Nomads gave her about a week earlier, and Emma, who bailed on us for some projectile vomit cleaning. All in all some fairly clean behavior, and we can all learn a lesson or two from Foxy Frosty in future.
The excitement was palpable as the Nomads gathered on a blustery morning. The anticipation of Peterborough match teas was clearly playing on peoples’ minds. So much so, in fact, that the small matter of closing their car boot managed to escape the attention of one particular driver. On account of the aforementioned wind conditions it was not deemed unusual that a stiff breeze circled through the car. A record braking 1.7 miles was completed (verified by google maps) before realization struck and the usual driving procedure of ‘all doors shut’
adopted. The match itself was a tough one. Peterborough came out hard and got a pair of goals early on in the first half. After some initial trouble with their strong press on our hit-outs the ball started getting effectively transferred through midfield. Towards the end of the first half our attack enjoyed some periods of putting the Peterborough defence under pressure which resulted in a superb goal. Irritatingly Peterborough picked up another goal shortly before half time after a speedy midfield brake. Half time chat centered around sorting out our first touches and more communication in defence. Both of these proved to be effective at frustrating the Peterborough midfield and the second half was a much closer affair. Despite some desperately close attempts, a second goal for the Nomads proved to be elusive. Peterborough picked up their final goal after a characteristic fast break. Match teas were bangers and mash. Om Nom Nom. With my mind now not distracted by food I remembered to close the car boot on the way home. MOM/DOD – Emma B
The Nomads’ drivers made sure the day got off to an exciting start – Ellie temporarily misplaced her paper license, rocking up twenty minutes late, Tyler almost killed her passengers in a nerve-wracking overtake, much to Zara’s amusement, and Abi insisted on stopping for multiple loo breaks. Arriving in Spalding we were greeted with portaloos as changing rooms and
the news from Annabel that this team, like the last 3 we’d played, were in fact top of the league. Annabel’s scaring tactic paid off, however, as we went out and played a competitive, if slightly overly aggressive, game of hockey, evidence of which came in the form of 3 green cards for Pauline, Sophie, and Claire (We know you did it on purpose because you want to go
back to the Beds…) The only thing we got more of than green cards was goals, one of which came from the opposition. The other 3, however, were text book goals which showed that our work on our D play has finally paid off. Spalding were a strong team with some sneaky attackers who made sure our defense had to work hard throughout to stop them going ahead. For a
while it looked like the Nomads were going to come away with yet another draw and heads momentarily dropped when a shot was stopped on the line by a defender sitting on it. Sadly it wasn’t Ellie’s day to convert the resulting flick, but we came back strong to get one final goal and defended hard until the final whistle to win 4-3. MOM was a joint effort between
Annabel and Claire (you’re not getting away that easily..) and DOD went to Tyler, who, as always, accepted it graciously and drove a lot safer on the journey home.
I think a special mention should go out to Abby who managed to secure joint MOM despite her crippling finger injury from pub golf. All of the defence played really well, and Liv also secured MOM. We scored our first goal from one of Lou’s epic short corners within the first few minutes. They then had a scrappy equaliser and Lou saved the day with a cheeky reverse flick over the rather miniature goalie’s head. Unfortunately Ulford then equalised again with a one-on-one with the goalie. A few cards were handed out to Ulford and tensions towards the umpire rose as their faces began to reflect their bright pink kit. Alas we didn’t manage to secure a victory but considering they are top of the league we played very well. Also special thanks to Margaret who saved the day by stepping in in goals.
MoM: Abi J and Liv
Not deterred by the sleet and gale force winds, the Nomads had a cracking game to secure a 4-0 win over Cam City 3s. We went out strong and immediately dominated, scoring our first goal off a corner this season and another thanks to some great attacking play. Some slightly scrappy play at the end of the first half was quickly rectified at the start of the second with a beautiful sequence between Lou, Annabel and Cat down the middle of the pitch securing our third goal. We were on fire. From then on it was just a case of remaining focused in the arctic conditions in order to stop the few breakaways City had. Man of the match Liv did a great job making
sure City’s forwards didn’t get a look in. Zara scored a blinder to make it 4-0 and another as the whistle went. The game ended with the Nomads in high spirits despite being unable to feel their hands/legs and having to trek back to Wilby for match teas. DOD was a close one between myself and Lou, whose spider attack was eventually considered less dickish than my very justified ‘over’ reaction to it.
Sunday evening saw one of the Nomads turn the big two one. We opened the evening with some glitter pens, diamontes, colours and creativity, forming ellie’s (Clintons eat your heart out, no expenses spared) make shift card from 6 people, claiming that her “real more expensive present” is yet to come….
After a few glasses of champers, a some peanuts (cashews if you got lucky), a couple of fruit salads and sherbert we were ready to head out to the event. Undeterred by the rainy weather the nomads marched on, awkwardly Ab J wasn’t on the guest list so had to give a fake name to get in…
With an alumni appeareance from Treacle Baz, things were bound to escalate, El dog shamelessly topped our glasses up time after time, and it wasn’t long before Ab J led the lairy chants. Unsurprisingly the most senior member of the Nomads then proceeded to chat up Collin (Ellie’s dad), but was sadly palmed off by him to a a stranger who she then had to make small talk with. Lou dog was flashing away as ever taking the most unflattering shots possibly imaginable. Annabel got angry at Carmen for taking a malteser off the cake, even though ellie gave persmission to.
Later Ab J and C tried to blagg free entry into life claiming to be in the senior committee of the hockey club…Els saves the day busting (literally) out from no where grabbing the stamp claiming that she is “big dog Ellie Marsh” and stamps us all for free entry. Apparently Tyler made a cheeky appearance, no one had any recollection of it. Sadly the birthday girl became victim of her own night, flashing her jugs like the disco lights, then later vommed…. a lot.
Ratings from the night
Nomads 8 (minus a coat, and a glittery envelope)
Ellie 9 (minus 2 for vom but plus 1 for flashing) Collin 10 (what a babe)
Everyone’s a winner
Today’s game was a real family affair with supporter from far and wide! The Nomads got off to a wobbly start, playing a bit of football instead of hockey. But we soon realised and got back our heads back into the game. Our first short was a near miss closely followed by our well thought out open play goal down the right hand side.
Energy levels fell throughout the match, despite the opposition’s average waist line being twice ours, the Nomads struggled to convert in the D. Some odd umpiring decisions against us didn’t go down well either… After countless unsuccessful shorts St Neots shocked us by scoring one back on a counter attack.
The result was dissapointing and did not reflect the possession we had.
MoM Carmen 3 Lou 1.5 Sophie 1.5
DoD Carmen for unfair reasons, and ab j rigging the votes
Saturday saw the Nomads embark on a miniature road trip to Peterborough, with Harika in tow donning the outfit of the new CUHC mascot… the flying squirrel! After a slightly slow start whilst adapting to the beach that was their pitch (standards having been raised by the new and reformed Wilby!) the girls were off. There was flair flying in all directions, with some slick stick skills being displayed by every member of the team, leaving many a Peterborough player for dust! But it was the short corner routines that saw the success, with the new weapon of mass destruction – the number 6 play – seeing the ball into the back of Peterborough’s net twice! Unfortunately Peterborough managed to counter, exploiting the few opportunities they got at goal, resulting in a 2-2 draw at full time.
MOM: Annabel, Carmen Cat
A deceivingly hot afternoon saw the Nomads strike back to winning form, like the Spice Girls at the Olympic opening ceremony, with gusto and energy that would make even Sporty Spice proud. Ellie showed her impressive fitness being “always on the run,” and great form to claim MOM for another week running. Great skill was showed by all new incoming Freshers, “slam [ing] it to the left,” “shake [ing] it to the right” in well rehearsed moves and footwork. Tyler showed off her slinky stick skills in the D (with an insane sweeping goal), although momentarily forgot which ball sport she was playing in a move which ought to have got her DOD (and a yellow card), sadly Lou got it for dropping the half time sweets.
Delighted to be setting out on a gloriously sunny Saturday morning with a mere 30 mile round trip in store, the Nomads ‘Pick ‘n Mix’ team were feeling cautiously confident. Little were they aware of the trials and tribulations in store for them as they set out to score that elusive first goal of the season. First up, Abi J decided to liven up journey by directing the team on a definitive tour through the housing estates of Ely – how thoughtful.
On sighting the Ely pitch at last, the Nomads felt they may have returned home, with the sandy wasteland reminiscent of dear old Fortress Wilby Mark 1. Darcy then discovered a minor footwear error, only saved from barefoot play by Ellie Marsh’s comprehensive kit bag.
As the starting whistle went, the Nomads made a startling discovery: black and bottle-green are identical when looking into the sun. Matters were not helped by Ely deciding to play the rather unconventional set-up of 9-0-2, leaving the Cambridge players somewhat bemused and facing an impenetrable wall of sticks and feet in front of the Ely goal. Sadly for the Nomads, the umpire proved outstandingly objective in his calls, every foul taking the ball away from Cambridge regardless of the offending team. A few breakaway plays by the home team across the desert of midfield left Iridag to mount a brave one man stand as the surprisingly silky skills of the Ely attackers caused problems for even our most solid of defenders.
Fuelled on Jelly Babies, the Nomads powered into the second half, determined to do battle. They succeeded in securing 90% of possession and finally getting the ball over the Ely goal line. To lose 4-0 was therefore a rather impressive feat. One can only assume that Sepp Blatter has been a loyal supporter of Ely Tigers.
Despite the rather cold, and very public, showers adding insult to injury, the day was saved from total ruin by the appearance of copious amounts of cake, and the ‘volunteering’ of this season’s Nomads’ captain – good luck!!
DoD: Darcy (Astros already packed in preparation for next Saturday)
MoM: 1) Ellie M 2) Annabel 3) Laura T
NB: DO NOT WEAR AWAY SHIRTS WHEN PLAYING ELY!!
DOD Ellie Marsh for some dubious and undeserved reasons, except perhaps perpetual lateness and wearing a skirt back to front for the entire game. Fortunately the girls are yet to get on the fining scene.