In a rather uneventful week which saw the Mens Blues kick off their BUCS campaign and some poor bloke getting burnt whilst everyone oos and ahhs at some bright explosions in the sky (very strange cult like ritual if you ask me), there were a few incredulous stand out happenings worth mentioning in this here match report.
A certain ‘chap who has some non-friends on tall mountains’, despite being named on the team sheet, was not present on the coach to the biggest away day for the mens blues this season, until they go to the same place again and then further on another occasion and then less further on another occasion after that.
In his place was his name sake, ‘chap who has some non-friends on tall mountains’ v2 who put in a very respectable performance in aiding the side to a 3-3 draw against a side who threatened and have beaten a certain Oxf*rd side in the BUCS league already this season. A cynical foul by Oily Fatlips lead to his first card of the season – first of many from what i’ve seen, terrible challenge!!.
On the coach on the way back occurred 2 of the aforementioned incredulous stand out happenings:
Number 1 being the lack of visit to the McDonalds that was quite literally a stones throw from the pitch?!?! Shaptain Steve Tyler refused to comment on this debacle.
Number 2 being anonymous Hugh(e) Jack(ed)man’s ability to complete an essay on what can only be described as an incredibly loose boozy bus with many a triv question being answered.
Number 3 on the list was the outstanding time we made on the return journey, weaving in out of traffic on a jammed motorway. The driver was later spotted “killing it” on the dfloor of cindois. I was absent for the rest of the week until the game on Saturday having a lovely time so am unable to comment on any events that may have occurred though I hear there may be a few call ups to the England side from the mblues after their loss to the James MBE in the final. Nothing much to say about Saturdays game other than that they had a donkey in almost every position across the pitch.
Mom: not sure
P.s. will someone please dethrone Obi Wang Kenobi at the top of the fantasy league he’s WAY to happy with himself!!
Hey, I forgot the speaker so gonna sing the match report…
*Dua Lipa – New Rules* (play this song when you read it – plz I wasted my life)
dod, dod, dod, dod, dod
Textin’ in her sleep at night, Bethan is not healthy
(she cannot drive, she cannot drive)
Was too sick to play hockey, hopin’ for a Wandie
(To drive us there, to drive us there)
Ohhh nooooo, looks like we are one car seat short,
One car seat short
Butttt Livvv Dadgeeee, takes one for the team and takes the X5,
And takes the X5
One: Molly scores a goal
You know she’s never missin’ cause she’s super skilled
Two: Amy scores this time
Yes we got another one
Three: They score this time
We know we’re gonna win this hockey match ver-
Please don’t worry now, we ain’t lettin’ any more
We got sick skillz, we gon’ win
We got sick skillz, we did win
We gotta go have a cool down
We got sick skillz, we did win
We gotta go have a shower
First we eatin’ match teas, beans cheese and baked potatoessss
(Not spuds again, no way)
(Not spuds again, no)
Now we doin’ DOD and MOM, Jess Czink wins but I mess up now
(I never learn, I never learn)[Refrain]
But I’m nottttt, the most stupid one, so I tell myself,
I tell myself
I do, I do, I do[Pre-Chorus]
One: Murphy should be dod
You know she be wearin’ a towel on her head
Two: Why not Amy
She ran the car battery down
Three: ok that’s mean
We know that zipcar just suck and had to reset the key
So if you voted for me, yeah fair but more sauce needed