Starting out at CUHC can be a little daunting, especially as a fresher. But do not fear! The website is here. Over the last 130 years, CUHC has found that the English language is frankly inadequate. So we decided to give words more suitable meanings.
If some of the definitions don’t make sense, then sorry. It’s not possible for me to tell you the subtleties of our niche, advanced dialect without severe penalties (see: Coaching).
Suggestions and amendments are welcome, comments are open at the bottom of the page or you can message me directly (See: Webmaster)
You can’t always remember everything and don’t always want to. But if in doubt, the general is about. (See General Baz, Debrief)
Angels, noun plural, /ˈeɪndʒ(ə)ls/
If you’re still out when this comes on, it’s time to go home (See:
Arnold Schwarzenegger, noun stacked, /ˈɑːnəld ˈʃwɔːrtsənˌɛɡər/
UZI 9 mm
Away in a manger, phrase, /əˈweɪ ɪn ā ˈmeɪndʒə/
A common Christmas song, although the general public do not know the correct lyrics (See: F**k off Oxf*rd)
B Bedouin, noun plural, /ˈbɛdʊɪn/
The Bedouin, aka “The Beds”, are our beloved women’s 3rd XI. These lovely ladies enjoy their hockey, enjoy their socials and especially enjoy “
Blue, proper noun, /bluː/
Refers to someone who goes out with the intention of getting with someone who is
BUCS, noun, /bʌks/
At the end of the week, CUHC loves to travel to
Buffalo, noun, /bŭf′ə-lō′/
The buffalo is a curious creature, with many habits that it will not ever go against. One of these is that when a buffalo goes down to the river to drink, it will also have the same hoof forwards. No one knows why the buffalo does this, maybe it doesn’t want to break from tradition. See also: Chop
C Chat, desirable noun, /tʃat/
One of the key differences between OUHC and CUHC is that we’ve got it. See also: General Baz, Webmaster. Do not see: Last Year’s varsity commentators
Cheese, undesirable noun, /tʃiːz/
Often given to the victor of stick to stick combat, or from milking a buffalo. (See also: Chop)
Chop, noun, /tʃɒp/
1. A tackle made by Etian or “Sebastian Shaw” (See also: Cheese)
2. Something CUHC does on socials which OUHC really struggles with.
On viewing a fresh Etian making his first tackle, the dutch invented Gouda to keep up with the new increase in demand.Anon. Squanderer
Christmas Dinner, legendary event, /krĭs′məs dĭn′ər/
The Christmas dinner
Cinderella Rockafella (
Committee, collective noun, /kə-mĭt′ē/
These students have nothing better to do in their weeks than admin for the club. There are many lesser roles like President, treasurers, club captains & secretaries etc. Then there is a Junior Committee that features some of the more important roles, such as the Social Secs and the Webmaster.
Every year the places are tightly contested, with
The desirable roles like ULO and the Transport Secretaries often have many applicants, so if you think you might be interested in one of those roles I’d recommend starting your CV now.
Catz Corridor, fun place, /kăts kôr′ĭ-dər/
It’s a Wednesday night, you’re college friends are being borin so you take off looking for fun, in true nomad style. You leave the smoking area,
Curry King, funplace, /kûr′ē kĭng/
The home of CUHC whole club swaps. Fantastic room
DDebrief, noun, /dē-brēf′/
After a large one, we all travel to Macclesfield and help those with amnesia.
Dangerspoons, noun, /dān′jərspo͞ons/
Townies x Wetherspoons = DangerSpoons but at CUHC we love fun and a story or two. I’d say Friday nights are less dangerous than Saturdays.
DJ, noun, /dē′jā′/
DJ is the gentleman that serves us our drinks (See: Tomahawk) and makes sure we leave quietly (See: Wings of a Sparrow). Be nice to DJ, he puts up with having 50 people crammed into downstairs at Hawks. Some people may mistake
When you get something wrong, you cross it out. The kind folk of CUHC do this for you, even when you don’t realise your mistake.
FF**K OFF OXF*RD, profane but justified phrase, /not appropriate/
This one is self-explanatory, even Campkin gets it. See GDBO, IJCSO etc.
Fez, place, /fĕz/
Ever fancied a trip to Morocco? Now you can experience unbearable heat and North African décor without leaving Cambridge. Or, if you don’t fancy being dripped on by the ceiling, just shuffle ‘Sing-along Indie Pop’ on Spotify, and you’ll find the DJ’s playlist for that evening.
Fishing, noun, /fĭsh′ĭng/
The favourite past time of Broby Tooks.
Freddie Hampel, noun, /frĕd′ē hăm′pĭ-l/
“The club will pay”. A common misconception.
Fresher, silly nouns, /frĕshər/
Freshers are the new guys who haven’t yet settled down and learnt how CUHC works. Some are silly, some are boring. CUHC runs a
Some find the course harder than others, and some get held back for many years. It is the only event where getting the Silver medal means coming in
G GDBO, colloquial fact, /jē dē bē ō/
God Damn Bloody Oxf*rd. A common phrase that can be seen around Cambridge used to show a united dislike of the other place. See also: IJCSO.
General Baz, legend, /jĕn′ər-əl băz/
Once guarded the Wilberfortress for CUHC, but now wears rouge. Is now Gossip Grill for men’s side of CUHC (See: Major Beds).
Game, noun, /gām/
Oh no, I’ve lost… Dearie me
HHawks, noun, /hôks/
Hawks Club is the sports club for Cambridge Uni, along with the Ospreys. The requirement for membership is either a blue (see also: Blue) or half blue/second team colours (See: Wanderers, Nomads), but CUHCers are always welcome.
I Infrequents, poor team, /ĭn-frē′kwənt/
IJCSO, colloquial fact, /ī jā sē s ō/
I Just Can’t Stand Oxf*rd. Another common
J John’s bar, noun place, /dʒɒns bɑː/
K Kit, essential noun, /kɪt/
Also known as stash, sartorial elegance is taken seriously at CUHC. After a brief romance with Nike, Cambridge Uni sport heard who was going to be Kit
KILLING IT, complimentary phase, /ˈkɪlɪn ɪt/
Open to interpretation. Example below:
Squanderer: “Hold on a tic, I’m just explaining the mathematics of a reverse Botswana”
Lovestruck Bds/Nds/Wblues: “Wow, you’re KILLING IT”
Refers to a successful social. Traditionally followed by a trip to Macclesfield the next day (See also: Macclesfield, debrief)
Losing it, multifaceted colloquial expression, /ˈluːzɪn ɪt/
1. undesirable consequence of correcting Broby (see also: fishing)
2. A state of beverage induced euphoria (see also: Toma)
The General’s elusive younger sister has been quite shy over recent years. Hopefully, she’ll sum up the courage to make a return to the (light blue) limelight.
Our Women’s second team. After a quiet year, their new captain has made it
Nibble, verb, /ˈnɪb(ə)l/
Saying something that really doesn’t need to be said (See: Losing it).
OOspreys, noun, /ˈɒspreɪs/
The women’s sporting club of Cambridge, alongside the male equivalent Hawks (both use the Hawks club building). I’m told Dadge is their president this year, (see Nomads).
Oxf*rd, profane noun, /ˈɒksf*d/
Definition of making a bad decision. Also home to the world’s oldest polytechnic. Has a university too called Oxf*rd
See also: Away in a Manger, GDBO, IJCSO, Wings of a Sparrow, St John’s
We can confirm that he is catholic. Last year OUHC went on a summer tour, but he neither knew who they were nor want to meet them. He may have used other words…
Pub Golf, event, /pʌb ɡɒlf/
A key fixture in the social calendar. The real fifth major in golf takes the form of a variable number of holes and is played in doubles. Played on a challenging course in central Cambridge, pairs of competitors must share a tight bond. Slow play is heavily penalised.
Q Quack, noun, /
The sound a frog makes according to our most knowledgable freshers.
R Rig, noun, /rɪɡ/
All solid structures must have a firm rig. Sometimes they are left uncovered by architects to show off their hard work, but sensible structures use appropriate cladding to cover them.
Red Press, noun, /rɛd prɛs/
My explanation wouldn’t do it justice. For expert advice, ask Campkin.
S St. John’s, noun, /seɪnt dʒɒns/
Definition of making the worst decision. “I’d rather be at Oxf*rd than at John’s”. See also: Oxf*rd, John’s Bar
Shandy, noun, /ˈʃandi/
If someone cannot take a lager, they add a lot of Schweppes (other lemonades are available). One then mixes it all together and goes to Oxf*rd to meet “friends”.
Spoons, noun, /spuːns/
Squanderers, noun, /ˈskwɒnd(ə)rə/
Undoubtedly the finest team in CUHC. Known for their ability to get themselves into a comfortable position, to only squander the opportunity for three points.
T the Best Day of the Year (BDotY), noun, /bɛst deɪ ɒv ðə jɪə/
Everyone but the blues plays a game of hockey against the other place before a nice big social. (See: Varsity)
Tomahawk, noun, /ˈtɒməhɔːk/
Some say the Tomahawk is so named because some of the ingredients are made by native Americans using an ancient recipe as old as Cambridge itself. Others say the name derives from the feeling you get that your skull has been split open when you wake up the next morning. All we know is, it’s £20 a jug in Hawks and is mostly coke.
Twenty-plus-one, important number, /ˈtwɛnti plʌs wʌn/
The number preceding
U ULO, acronym, /juː ɛl əʊ/
I’m told it’s what the Wblues call their more liberal and spirited members. These officers are frequently up for re-election and successful candidates take residence at Casa Della Shears.
V Varsity, important noun, /ˈvɑːsɪti/
See also: The Best Day of the Year. Varsity is the term used for the annual fixture against the other place (see Oxf*rd). 2nd and 3rd teams play their varsity games at Iffy road this year. It’s HUGE (>> Large). The blues play their Varsity at a neutral location (Southgate HC) on 1st March, it is likewise quite large. The games are the most competitive of the year, and the socials afterwards probably the loosest. ULOs are responsible for the officiating of both (see ULOs).
N.b. The blues varsity gets a large crowd of supporters. See: Please can the supporters on the far side be aware that this is a family event, and bad language is not appropriate.
VK, noun, /viː keɪ/
1. Often associated with a man of below-median but above mean chat.
2. A delicacy that can be enjoyed at a number of venues in Cambridge (See:
VKs advertise themselves as having “flavours”. This is a classic example of marketing something that isn’t there. VKs are just alcohol, sugar and food colouring. Some of the colours look radioactive.
Vinyl, bright noun, /ˈvʌɪn(ə)l/
Sadly life passed away, and Vinyl has made a comeback. It turns out that ‘fixing’ an absolute dive involves a lot of lights and a lot of mirrors. Sadly this means you can now actually see your worst nightmares.
People seem to still go. I assume this is so they can spend the book tokens their gran got them for Christmas on the way back home.
W Wanderers, collective noun, /ˈwɒndərə/
The Men’s second team. Led very dubiously last year by a man who prefers Shirley Temple to
Webmaster, noun, /wɛbˈmɑːstə/
In the early days of CUHC, the webmaster was so-called as they controlled a vast “web” of information sources throughout the whole of the east of
Wilberfortress, noun, /wɪlˈbəfɔːtrɪs/
Recent redevelopment by the military-industrial complex means our defences are stronger than ever. We now have three pitches, each with their own personality. Everyone seems to have their favourite.
Insert here tinder profiles for the pitches.
Wings of a sparrow, noun,
See also: F**k off Oxf*rd, Away in a Manger.
X X5, dreaded noun, /ɛks fʌɪv/
With BDotY away this year, there’s a chance you’ll be getting familiar with the roundabouts of Milton Keynes. Needing the X5 means you got it right but made a bad decision (See: Oxf*rd).
Y Yard, noun, /jɑːd/
Commonly mistaken as a non-SI unit of length (91.4 cm for you Millenials), the yard is actually an SI unit of volume.
Many claim that this is a small volume, but an equal number don’t want it.
Z ZipCar, noun, /zɪpkɑː/
We use Zipcars to travel to games not at home. They charge by the hour, so as soon as you enter, you’re on the clock. ZipCar was apparently conceptualised 3,267 miles away in Cambridge.